Power that lies in moments of breakdowns, in moments where we may feel desperate or lost. Breakdowns are inevitable and part of our human experience. As you know breakdowns come in a variety of ways it could be a divorce, a job loss, depression, a chronic illness, or a loss of a loved one, a financial crisis or a life threatening diagnosis.
My monumental breakdown came with cancer.
I was 35. Too young to be facing any kind of illness, I thought, especially when I have lived my life in the healthiest way possible. I had healed myself from diabetes and celiac disease in my 20s. I was healthy, fit and physically active. How can I possibly have cancer?
As you can imagine, the moment I was given this world shattering diagnosis I fell apart.
I cried and cursed to the heavens while falling into deep despair. I spent the night sobbing and feeling lost and angry. But something powerful happened the next day. I opened my eyes, and while feeling physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted, I looked out at the deep blue morning sky and stepped outside to feel that bright sun shine upon me and I thought, “I can either feel defeated by and fall into a deep sense of despair, or I can embrace it as an opportunity to heal all of me."
I had never felt such a blow to my soul but after the emotional breakdown started to subside, much like the calmness felt after a thunderstorm, something incredible happened. A moment of clarity somehow came into my awareness and I realized that this breakdown could very well be my personal breakthrough. It was such a defining moment, such a fragile moment where I faced a choice between falling in the depths of despair or choosing to embrace this experience as an opportunity to heal myself from the inside out.
I chose the latter: I chose to reclaim my life, to receive the gifts and blessings that healing can offer. My breakthrough lead me through a transformation, one that I could have never imagined. At that very moment I felt a sense of peace and I knew that I had made a breakthrough, that I had made the right decision to choose me, to choose life, to choose my healing - and that in itself felt empowering.
At that very moment I realized that this could be the most insightful, empowering and deeply healing experience of my life, if only I could embrace it in that way. So I did. As challenging as it was and has been at times, I have embraced every moment to ask "What is this breakthrough offering for me to look at, to feel, to address, to speak of, to sing of, to process, to heal through, to say good bye to", with deep gratitude for all that I have learned, and in order for me to let go and to let be."
Although, at times this journey has been a wild, heart-breaking, intense, beautiful roller coaster ride, it has also been the most self-nurturing, self-realizing, self-actualizing, self-empowering and deeply healing.
Even though breakdowns may feel out of our control and incredible intense, there lies an opportunity in that very moment of a challenge and that opportunity is simply a moment of “choice”. Would you agree that we always have a choice? Even in those moments where we may feel we have no choice, we actually do. We are at choice to give or not to give our power away, at choice to follow our intuition or not, at choice to feel victimized or self-empowered? Every time I felt ill, or felt sad, or frustrated, or felt the intensity of my physical pain I would remind myself the choice I made.
I know from personal experience what breakdowns entail and feel like, and I know that at times we may feel like giving up, like we’ve been broken into a million little pieces, like the world is going to cave in on us or that there is no way out.
There is a way through a breakdown; it’s claiming your breakthrough.
By feeling what needs to be felt, what’s coming up, what life is asking you to look at and address, that is your breakthrough, that is your medicine. That visceral moment of being in the intensity of feeling, by embracing what life is asking you to heal rather than shut down, that moment can offer a tremendous insight, wisdom, understanding and even a surge of energy to get you from a place of feeling despair towards a place of feeling and experiencing potential in your life.
It’s important to recognize and process our emotions but it is equally important to take a moment, take a deep whole-hearted breath and look at what we can be grateful for. Having a deep sense of gratitude can be a powerful tool during intense times in life; there is always something, no matter how small, that we can be grateful for.
Breakthrough Reflection Exercise
I now invite you to take a few moments to reflect about may be coming up for you, specially if there is an opportunity for a breakthrough in your life at this time:
What is unfolding for you right now? What are you facing as a challenge and what's its opportunity?
What is this challenge inviting you to explore, to see, to experience, to dive into, to heal through?
What is your breakthrough about?
How do you want to show up for yourself moving forward?
What are you self-honoring commitments?
What are the leaps of faith you are willing to take to create long-lasting change in your life?
Return to Center
Your answers will guide through your breakthrough process where you'll discover new found commitments to self, your goals and the long-term changes you want to create. Your insights will empower you every day as you make the right decisions for yourself.
I have found that the medicine of a breakthrough brings you back to your center, to your essence, to your inner wisdom (intuition), to your source of energy and to your priorities; it supports and fuels your daily commitments to yourself and helps define how you want to reclaim your life, health and vitality. Here’s to your breakthrough!