The Counterintuitive Step into Self-Love

Have you ever felt flooded by rapid thoughts ranging from unrealistic to almost impossible? Do these thoughts increasingly stir waves of fear within you?

And, either by itself or along with this uneasiness, have you felt a sense of being isolated, numb, and lost on how to get away from these intolerable feelings?

Then you’ve had firsthand experience with anxiety.

Anxiety is a deep sense of uncertainty resulting from having learned during our years of childhood that great danger is imminent. This great danger is not being loved unconditionally for who you are.

Someone who grew up being loved on the condition of satisfying a parent’s wishes was not loved for who they are. Without an interaction model of how being unconditionally loved feels, the child develops into an adult who is unsure of how Self-love feels.

Consider anxiety your friend

By giving you strange, uncomfortable sensations, anxiety points out the fear ingrained in your earlier years—the fear-motivated fulfillment of satisfying a parent’s wishes, and the Self-suppression required in order to do this.

Anxiety invites you to question whether these ways of interacting with others are currently necessary.

Accept anxiety’s encouragement to know and feel your right to love and be loved as you are.

Once you start and continue this for a while, the usual Self-compromise of your early years’ interaction patterns will start dissolving.

Anxiety will also crumble away once your personal truth, which you felt was necessary to hide behind anxiety, is free and able to openly express itself.

As a grown person now, there may no longer be good reason to maintain fear-based relating patterns that were necessary long ago in order to live within your family.

Your One Step for Success

Start, as the article title suggests, moving a little closer to your anxious thoughts.

This is counter-intuitive, because anxiety gives the feeling that there is danger behind it, and intuitively people go the opposite direction from danger.

You can learn to let your heart move closer to those anxious thoughts and be present with them in Gaiam TV’s Stepping Into the Heart meditation guide.

Watch the first meditation for free!

Thoughts are strings of words

They frighten us to the degree we accept the emotions we attach to them as intimidating. If certain thoughts raise anxiety in you, ask what you find frightening about them.

Maybe this is because you are first becoming aware of your true Self and feelings while also recalling your dread of the risk (during your growing up years) for saying what you really felt.

Keep unfolding the thoughts connected to your anxiety until you have no more questions about your truth.

You’ll know this when you feel the pure and steady calm of Self-love.

Once you discover this feeling within yourself, whatever words were once assigned to you by others and the patterns that sustained your negative beliefs about your Self will feel irrelevant.

You’ll be able to drop them, and your anxiety will drop out.

Learn More About Stress & Anxiety on Gaia

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