Today, the world around us is speeding up at an epic pace. What was once considered to be fast has now become the new norm. Things like multitasking are now the expectation. Every day, we desperately try to fit into one day that which we would do in two, so it seems that conscious thinking is becoming an even greater challenge.
In fact, the faster we go and the more overstimulated we become, the more we think this is "normal" — that life as a one-way road filled with instant gratification, disconnection, and desensitization. These beliefs are the makings of a lost soul and makes discovering your innate gifts so much more difficult. In all of the confusion, we often dim our inner light to serve the world around us. This direction leaves us questioning why are we here? What is our purpose?
This simple question, without an answer, can be the source of great frustration, anger, fear, and depression. This leads us to point the fingers of blame and flirt with the role of the victim where life isn’t fair. I know many who have spent half their life seeking answers to these questions only to find that the answers sit firmly inside, just waiting for you to take a look. What an amazing lesson to share with others!
Why Do We Avoid That Which Can Bring Us Healing?
The path to self-healing can be overwhelming, which is why we avoid it. It is not easy to bare our truest most authentic self to the world. What if it isn’t good enough? This leads us to discover that only you can "fix" yourself! Only you can make the conscious decision to go within your heart to heal. You can lean on guidance and different therapeutic modalities, but only you have the power to plant and nurture those seeds.
I would love to report that this journey will come easy, but that is NOT the case. I did more than my fair share of hiding behind many roles in life to avoid looking inside my heart. When there were no more obvious places to hide, I made one last attempt to hide behind my own spirituality. At some point, the only option becomes surrender. True surrender is the point in which you trust the Divine and walk away from "I know best." Trusting the Divine will present a path, although you have to be brave enough to walk it. This is where you will find your inside world, which is home to our heart and soul…let the healing begin.
When you look inside yourself it can be a scary, misunderstood place. The willingness to open the door to raw vulnerability and potential shame that you have stuffed away is very brave. However, it is when we are vulnerable that the world of competition, judgment, and "fitting in" will soften away. Just as this process can be difficult, the reward is experiencing love without conditions.
So How Do We Get There?
Self-discovery will look different for everyone. We all hold a unique individual blueprint, so it is not a one-stop shop. Once you begin to seek within, you will be guided on a Divine path, do your best not to judge this path. Let the path reveal itself to you. Most importantly, trust that the people or experiences you need to guide you will Divinely show up on your doorstep.
Healing Starts With Self-Love
Loving one’s self is the most amazing gift in this world. It is extremely healing to know that you can give up the jig because you are not perfect, and trying to prove you have it all figured out is like carrying the world on your shoulders. You came here to have this human experience, to grow, and learn. How do we do this if we do not face our challenges?
Exercise 1: The Mirror
Look into any mirror and observe your reflection. Focus on your eyes, look at your skin, look at every simple detail that your physical essence has to offer, and finally look deep into your eyes…into your heart. Appreciate this moment. When you feel an inner peace, ask yourself if you are reflecting your authentic self. Do you believe your authentic self is good enough, worthy enough, and special enough?
After sitting with the above, tell yourself "I love you!" I love you for all the mistakes you have made. I love you for all the attempts to find purpose. I love you for the need to belong to something greater. I JUST LOVE YOU! How does it feel? It always amazes me how awkward this exercise can feel. It is often easy to tell another person we love them, but somehow we are ashamed to say it to ourselves as if we are not worthy.
Take a moment to sit with how you feel, no matter whether it’s uncomfortable. Remember, we all struggle when it comes to being vulnerable! Record your experience, and then repeat it at a later time to see if it feels more comfortable.
Exercise 2: Take a trip down memory lane
What are the areas of life that cause emotional pain, regardless of how big or how small? Maybe go as far back as childhood — were you dismissed, did you have a voice? Be honest with what you experienced and how it made you feel. Most importantly, embrace compassion and empathy, remembering that in this imperfect journey there is no one to blame, just forgiveness to embrace.
When and if you do come across an experience that resulted in anger or sadness, sit with it and explore it. Bring your conscious mind to your breath and move through the experience instead of going around it. What did you learn from it? Is there anyone whom you need to forgive? If so bring them forward in your mind. When you are ready, forgive them and then send the experience away with your breath. Take a moment to see if the experiences or relationships have been a repeating pattern in your life. If you find any patterns, it is time to do more work because they will continue to resurface until you learn the lesson.
Exercise 3: Reconnecting with your gifts
We all come into the world with very special gifts, and we often forgo these gifts to join the race around us.
Callout We allow society to define who we should be based on many limiting beliefs. We tend to write off our passions because they do not fit into the definition of success.
Find a comfortable space and take a few deep breaths to center and ground yourself. Ask yourself what are the things you love to do? What are your passions? Do you like art, music, or writing? Are you creative, or analytical? When you think of the things you love, is there a direction you could go to realign and include your passions back into your life?
Next close your eyes and take a moment to be grateful for where you stand today. All of your life experiences have led you to this moment and that is Divinely perfect. Then, when you feel ready, pretend you are gifted a magical wand that can change anything you would like in your life. What would you change first? Take a moment to write down what, if anything, you would change in your life today. Take a look to see if you are operating from a world of lack and limited beliefs. For example, I am too old to go back to school. This is a limiting belief, and when we move toward self-love we begin to peel back the layers of limitations until they have all fallen away.
Exercise 4: Meditate
Taking the time to meditate and affirm your beliefs is incredibly important. Meditation can take any shape or form. There are guided meditations, moving meditations, and prayer, so start with what feels good to you. Carving out 10 minutes a day to reflect and quiet your mind is powerful and a good start.
Next, affirm your thoughts and explore the power of your mind. We have upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day. Take a step back and assess your thoughts. You cannot control them, but you do get to choose which ones you turn into words. Every word you speak has an intense vibration and will attract your reality, which is the law of attraction.
Retrain your brain by speaking and affirming positive thoughts. I have many favorites that I repeat regularly, but just like music you have to empower yourself to discover what fits for you.
Healing is a process that doesn’t have a start or an end; it just happens when we are brave enough to take accountability for our own heart. The above exercises are to help you maneuver through some of the uncomfortable situations instead of reacting to them. Embrace the teachable moments that present the opportunity to grow and have great compassion and empathy with this process, as the reality is we are doing our best every day.