Inside the Belly of the Beast

Images were released this week of the inside of James Holmes’ apartment. You may know his name from the Aurora, Colorado, theater shooting. What you may not know is how deeply weird this conspiracy goes. I share this not in a desire to stir the pot further, but rather to honor my story…a truth I have had a hard time handling on my own in the years since 2012. To say it changed the temperament of the people is one thing, but the personal effect it has had on my life points to a conspiracy much larger and weirder than anything I could have imagined possible.

This is not the story of the government going after an important political figure. This is not the story of the men in black trying to silence a great leader. This is the story of the unseen forces in our government trying to destroy a family through fear and power…and failing!

I was one of the three intuitives called in to clear the apartment of James Holmes after the shooting. Coincidentally or not, the owners of his building were already my clients whom I had assisted previously in energetically clearing their land and property. Amazing women, they swooped in afterward to protect the tenants and it was only in their capable and stalwart hands that such respect was offered to this immediate community.

My life, in all ways, has not been the same since that day…

Read firsthand account of 1 of 3 intuitives called in to clear energy from #jamesholmes apartment, exclusively on @GaiamTV. #aurorashooting

JULY 19 – DAY OF

I was participating in RAW Artists — a community event promoting local artists — for the first time and nervously excited to see what the night might hold. Driving to the event just 15 miles from the theater, I was overcome with such rage, shaking with anger, narrowly avoiding being in two collisions on the short drive. I called my husband screaming, very uncharacteristic and without any aggravating factor. In retrospect, the energy seemed to intensify as I got nearer Aurora.

Our gathering was a success, unmarked by any drama. I left at 11 pm having connected with other artists and feeling satisfied by the reception I received. From the event, a video was produced of me speaking about my work. I was proud of the ways I was captured, feeling something true was shared.

JULY 20 – WAKING TO THE NEWS

I was contacted by my high school boyfriend inquiring about my well-being. As a sci-fi geek and Batman fangirl, it was a fair concern that I may have been at the midnight screening. I live in Arvada, the shooting was in Aurora. It was an easy name to confuse.

It was then that I learned of the shooting.

The climate of the city was uneasy, frightened, and palpably shaken. I did a video in response to the tragedy a couple of days after trying to express the grief I was feeling. As a healer within the community where such things occur, we are called into service in more ways than we are always cognizant. Even then, I was having difficulty understanding what we were experiencing.

JULY 28 – THE CALL

Days following the shooting, I received a call from my clients. They divulged they were the owners of the building and wondered if I would be willing to help. Panic and excitement moved through my body. This was understandably a big freakin’ deal, but admittedly not one in which I wanted to be too closely involved.

I agreed, on my own terms, that I would do what I could to clear the building and the land in an effort to stabilize and support the community. Their other tenants were unable to move forward until balance was restored. My clients were the silent heroes protecting them like family, food was brought in, quiet gatherings to process and share were held, and they were completely shielded from a frenzied media hungry for a story. Both gifted intuitives and ancient wise souls, this level of protection took a toll on them as well. It is clear to see in hindsight what a cosmic blessing their role was, but in the midst of great turmoil, suffering is often the most immediate response.

THE MENTOR

Faith Ranoli is a legend. She was my spiritual mentor and a huge advocate for all things freaky…it was Ranoli in fact who nurtured me through exopolitics and walk-ins. It was Ranoli who championed my cosmic soul and introduced me to the building’s owners in May 2012. She was the best in the biz, but was facing her own battle with spinal cancer. In her years of balancing land and home energies professionally, she taught me never to enter a place physically, for too many had become fatally ill from encountering such energies directly. As a shaman, I am skilled in the art of the journey and instead undertake any clearings in this manner.

I spent two days preparing. I protected my home, my body, and went into deep commune with my Guides and Angels to ready me for what was to come.

INSIDE

Though I was as prepared in body, mind, and soul as I could be, nothing can quite describe my shock at what awaited inside the apartment of James Holmes. Venturing through the shamanic landscape, physical form and virtual reality may not match up. (I have committed to not watching the video since released of his apartment in order to honor and preserve my own experience). Regardless, what I beheld was stranger than any fiction I could imagine in my most perverse nightmare.

I walked into a psychotic fun house. Vortexes, rips in space and time, and intricately rigged booby traps of the most surreal psychic creation awaited. It took me some time to simply ground and understand how to move about in this shifting environment. Even from a distance, the eeriness of the abode was indescribable. Each movement was precise and premeditated so I could ensure safe passage to do what had been asked of me.

Through the course of three days, I prayed, cleared, and purged, balancing the land, the building, and the tenants to restore peace and order. For days afterward my body trembled.

JIMMY

Having been called into the heart of the beast, I was admittedly a bit obsessed by the case. While I continually reminded myself it was the building and its people I was committed to helping, I wasn’t able to disconnect from following the aftermath.

James Holmes, or Jimmy as I came to know him, was a sweet kid who had the wrong proclivities. Any number of conspiracies about who he is and what actually happened linger online. I’ll reserve my dossier and simply offer he was a curious soul, with a brain too smart, and a heart too pure. Whatever remains of his soul is far removed from his physical body and in his place something else lives. Jimmy did not commit those acts. Jimmy is long gone and will not spend his life in jail. This can bring some peace to his soul but little to the families who mourn those they lost.

CONFLICTING SYMPATHIES

It is my job as a healer to see the light in all souls. From the moment the news revealed the story of Jimmy, I was sympathetic to his soul. This doesn’t mean in any way I condone what occurred but I was called in service to assist and guide him. Plenty of other healers were able to assist the victims, but in my call of service as a psychopomp, it is sometimes the harder souls I am destined to serve.

It can often be tricky for us to sympathize with someone seemingly bad or evil. But I knew this wasn’t the case…I knew that little love couldn’t have done those things. And the Pandora’s Box was opened.

My heart weeps for those lives lost that day. Yet I recognize each soul has a journey, a story to share which sometimes propels the destiny of mankind. I see each of these souls in this way. Brilliant, brave, and gifting of this planet with a story of great tragedy and strength.

THE AFTERMATH

As we are want to do, I kept following the rabbit holes trying to understand what the hell had happened to lead to the shooting. Many late nights, many obsessive theories raced through my brain. My safe version of reality had been eradicated, and it left me grasping for ways to piece back a stable place to land.

I never knew such dimensions actually existed outside of fantasy. I couldn’t fathom that this reality could exist side by side with what I thought to be real. Mind control, cloning, implants, and government conspiracy all became a startling probability. This level of exposure takes its toll, and I began slowly to distance myself knowing I had done what I could…but also quietly knowing that I would never be able to walk away entirely.

THE ARREST

On October 2nd, my husband was arrested by the Feds. Taken from his place of work, he disappeared off the face of the planet for three days. Not allowed any phone calls, nor access to a lawyer, our family was shattered as we grasped to comprehend what was occurring.

Though released and sent home, we would understand his charges stemmed from his legal participation in the medical marijuana industry here in Colorado. Conspiracy charges (oh the irony!) from Florida (where he had never been) lead to his arrest and began a three-year effort to fight for his freedom.

THE VIDEO

By November, with the trauma of my participation with Jimmy and the clearing mostly in my rearview, it was simply the fallout of the arrest and the implications of how it would impact our family which held my attention. With the added stress of being the primary income earner, I was working with a social media expert to build my healing practice. I received a disturbing email from Rachel.

It contained a transcript for my video recorded at RAW Artists the night of the shooting. YouTube at that time offered an “interactive transcript” feature which attempted to transcribe the words heard in the video. The transcript came back with the words:

• ANDREA
• BATMAN
• SCARED
• ANGELS
• HELPERS
• BAD NEWS
• FLORIDA
• CLINTON
• REACHED A DEAL
• D_E_A

Note none of these words were not actually what was said. Don’t believe me? Watch the video again. However, in the screen shots from 2012, it is clearly captured.

Not only were future events being outlined (Batman, Bad News, Florida, DEA) but also directly targeted was me…Andrea (my birth name), scared (the emotional state they hoped to induce), Clinton (the city of my birth).

I was shaken, scared, and aware that the world I believed I lived in had just disappeared.

I didn’t know (and still don’t) what it all meant, but I do recognize there is more to this world around us than we even can imagine.

A SEARCH FOR MEANING

Though my faith was shaken, my path was still clear and only became more focused. I dove head first into my healing, dedicated to fixing in others what couldn’t be fixed in my present world. If I couldn’t alter my husband’s reality, I would focus on igniting as many souls as I was granted access. I spent my time building my practice, raising our daughter, and personally facing every layer of fear as it appeared. I could no longer live in the reality as I was told it existed and instead had to pursue rabbit holes which otherwise lived in the hazy realm of conspiracy theory.

If all I was told was real was a carefully crafted illusion, I needed to study those who taught its antidote. David Wilcock, Sheldan Nidle and Tom Kenyon became my staples. Helping me navigate an expanded reality and catapulting me into cosmic and intergalactic explorations, I devoured everything I could get my hands on.

Multi-dimensional awareness, galactic connections, cellular activations and the restoration of [past life memories](/article/how-access-memories-your-past-lives} from [ancient civilizations](/video/ancient-wisdom} became my addiction. I vacillated between quaking in fear and shattering every illusion of reality I held. From the outside I’m sure it looked insane.

My own personal path of disclosure was raw, heart breaking, and terrifying, yet I have pierced every illusion, examined every belief and can now walk my path with absolute conviction. I don’t share from a place of fantasy but from having walked the lava-ridden path step by step.

A NEW WORLD

I drifted far from the case, knowing I had done my small part in the healing…and on the best of days, it is my service to the planet that makes all the crazy shit feel sane.

The bond that was formed with the building’s owners disintegrated under the heat of such pressure…and my beloved sister Ranoli passed away 18 months later.

We tried to maintain a normal life while for three years the lingering possibility of federal prison loomed. My husband valiantly challenged the charges, ultimately being found guilty after two trials in Florida. The humanity shown by the federal judge and his courtroom was nothing less than a miracle, yet the course our lives has been forever altered.

I kept my practice in tact despite the insistence of many to walk away. Lawyers, colleagues, and even friends advised that if I wanted to protect my husband, I would shutter the doors of my shamanic practice and take a normal job as to not reflect badly upon him in the eyes of the court.

If fear is the ultimate goal, I will say they didn’t win. The Devil is just a character and I learned from him where my true strength lies.

JIMMY AND THE BEAST

They need us to believe James Holmes is bad, evil, sick. To have undertaken such an endeavor, he must surely be possessed. What we don’t want to ask is — who was it that possessed him?

The reality of Jimmy is that it could happen to us all. Damn — it is happening to us all. [The Illuminati](/video/truth-behind-angels-demons} only can enact their sadistic games if they tell us what they are doing. In the case of sweet Jimmy, we are being shown what they are doing to us all.

We are being brainwashed; even the most innocent among us is powerless to their influence. Through the media we are being told what to do…and we do it. “Buy this! Want that! Learn this! Drink that!” It’s all a game of massive mind control and darling Jimmy chose (as a soul) to show us the extent of our blindness. He merely played out what the TV told him to do.

TO FEAR IS THE GOAL

The powers that were can only be in control as long as we believe they are in control. People who have no hopes are easy to control so the fear must be constantly fed, nurtured, and roused to ensure we stay comatose in a paralysis of fear.

G’mork: Foolish boy. Don’t you know anything about Fantasia? It’s the world of human fantasy. Every part, every creature of it, is a piece of the dreams and hopes of mankind. Therefore, it has no boundaries.

Atreyu: But why is Fantasia dying, then?

G’mork: Because people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams. So the Nothing grows stronger.

Atreyu: What is the Nothing?

G’mork: It’s the emptiness that’s left. It’s like a despair, destroying this world. And I have been trying to help it.

Atreyu: But why?

G’mork: Because people who have no hopes are easy to control; and whoever has the control…has the power!

Atreyu: Who are you, really?

G’mork: I am the servant of the power behind the Nothing. I was sent to kill the only one who could have stopped the Nothing. I lost him in the Swamps of Sadness. His name…was Atreyu.

The Neverending Story

THE TRUE GOAL

I believe we as souls choose our destiny. We know the events, experiences, and tragedies that will serve us best. I can only imagine my highest self is a sardonic fool with a heart full of mischief and wisdom to have thrown me here.

I don’t trust our government but am no longer scared of them. I know our government is not the people who work in it, but the sadistic jerks at the top who keep themselves hidden from view.

I see the lies all around us. The illusion of sickness, disease, depression, and grief that reminds us we are weak.

But through it all, I see the triumph of humanity. We are strong. We are bright. And we hold all the power. It is in their best interest to make sure we don’t remember this…for when we do, the top shall crumble.

FEAR DOESN’T WIN, WE ARE SEEDS

If my own path can serve as an illusory tale, I stand proud to say that fear doesn’t win. In the face of the federal government, fear didn’t win. In the threat of humiliation from sharing my story, fear doesn’t win.

Even in the direct hit of the threat of losing my family, my reputation, my livelihood, my faith was still intact. If you look again at the transcript, you’ll also see the salvation “helpers, Angels, Archaic, heartened, spark people, he sees the whole” were there all along.