Quotes by Elayne Boosler

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. But certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

A man who was loved by 300 woman singled me out to live with him. Why? I was the only one without a cat.