Quotes by Erma Bombeck

We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attache' cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.

 Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

God created man, but I could do better

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, "I used everything you gave me."

The grass is always greener over the septic tank.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

We've got a generation now who were born with semi-equality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad. We're working. We have our attaché cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don't realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally brain dead.

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.