Quotes by Jay Leno

With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mudslides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.

If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

"I am not just another notch on your belt?" she asked him. "Of course not." he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.