Quotes by Sir Kingsley William Amis

I wish I could have a little tape-and-loudspeaker arrangement sewn into the binding of this magazine, to be triggered off by the light reflected from the reader's eyes on to this part of the page, and set to bawl out at several bels: MORE WILL MEAN WORSE.

If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It was no wonder that people were so horrible when they started life as children.

I sometimes feel that more lousy dishes are presented under the banner of pâté than any other.

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night and then as its mausoleum.

I want a dish to taste good, rather than to have been seethed in pig's milk and served wrapped in a rhubarb leaf with grated thistle root.

Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in.

Death has got something to be said for it: There's no need to get out of bed for it; Wherever you may be, They bring it to you, free.