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Quotes by Woody Allen


I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on Saturday and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
Source: Winokur, True Confessions
Contributed by: Paul Jimerson. More quotes added by pj from all sources
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More quotes about: humor, jewish
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Eternal nothingness is okay if you're dressed for it.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: tara. More quotes added by tara from all sources
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More quotes about: eternity, nothingness
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: meaghan. More quotes added by meaghan from all sources
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More quotes about: god, laughter, plans
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?. In that case , i definitely overpaid for my carpet !.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
Source: Woody Allen
Contributed by: bk jagadish. More quotes added by jagadish from all sources
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More quotes about: illusion
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What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once and that's it. Well, you know, don't you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it's not all a drag. And, I'm thinking to myself, "Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts."

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
Source: Hannah and Her Sisters
Contributed by: gary gach. More quotes added by gary from all sources
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If only God would give me a sign - like making a large deposit in my name in at Swiss bank.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: sweetmystery. More quotes added by sweetmystery from all sources
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More quotes about: law of attraction, loa, sign, god, synchronicity
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Love is the answer but, while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: Chrisix. More quotes added by Chrisix from all sources
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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: Fabio Cunial. More quotes added by illusion from all sources
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: breakbeat ninja. More quotes added by breakbeat ninja from all sources
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen : American comedian, actor & film director (born Allen Stewart Konigberg)
Woody Allen (1935 - )
 
Contributed by: breakbeat ninja. More quotes added by breakbeat ninja from all sources
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