Quotes by Woody Allen

Eternal nothingness is okay if you're dressed for it.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?. In that case , i definitely overpaid for my carpet !.

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once and that's it. Well, you know, don't you want to be part of the experience? You know, what the hell, it's not all a drag. And, I'm thinking to myself, "Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts."

Love is the answer but, while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

"I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!"

With me; it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.