Quotes by D. Patrick Miller

Or you think you are always gentle, yet look at how viciously the world strikes at you nonetheless! This idea of your victimization is merely cynicism turned inside out and made more impenetrable to insight. You are clever enough to disguise your addiction to gloom in protests of innocence. The good news is that you may never be effectively challenged by others about this routine; few friends have enough wisdom and chutzpah at the same time. The bad news is that you will probably never walk your way to forgiveness in sensible steps. You will have to leap your own well-built defenses, disowning your morbid vanity in mid-flight.

Forgiveness feels most dramatic when some ancient pattern of self-punishment collapses in a torrent of tears. But it is just as effective when practiced daily in tiny doses - relinquishing a pointless worry, getting wise to a self-destructive habit, serving notice on a cruel notion about yourself that has previously seemed justified. The beginning of forgiveness is alertness to false ideas.

A rage of frustration boiled over and you struck, changing your life and someone else's forever. There is an insult or injury you dealt that cannot be taken back or dismissed. This seems to be proof of your sinfulness, the personal stain that won't ever wash out. In fact it is the dye of your initiation into a more serious life. If you continue to live on automatic you will do more damage. You must now learn to pay profound attention to your inner workings, which mirror the workings of the world at large. You must become an eminently practical, everyday philosopher of pain and redemption, changing your habits and exemplifying change for others as you go along. This is the work you chose for yourself when you attacked. It only begins with apologies and recompense.

How to forgive a murderer? First, by differentiating his sufferings from his exploitation of death to ease them. For his sufferings - greed, jealousy, frustration - he will need reeducation, support and, compassion. For our outrage about murder, we need to examine deeply our faith in death. As long as we collectively believe that death has power over life, we will spawn deluded, self-appointed little gods who want that power.