Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
Zig Ziglar
(1926 - )
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.
Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
"Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!" "And if you were my wife, I would drink it!"
I like the story of the newlywed who served ham for her first Sunday dinner. The husband noticed the ends of the ham had been cut off and he asked why. "That's the way my mother always did it," the bride replied with a shrug. He asked his wife's mother the same question and got the same answer, "That's the way my mother did it." Finally he asked the grandma, who replied, "That's the only way I could get it into the pan."
They that have power to hurt and will do none, That do not do the thing they most do show, Who, moving others, are themselves as stone, Unmoved, cold, and to temptation slow; They rightly do inherit Heaven's graces, And husband nature's riches from expense; They are the lords and owners of their faces, Others but stewards of their excellence. The summer's flower is to the summer sweet, Though to itself it only live and die; But if that flower with base infection meet, The basest weed outbraves his dignity: For Sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds: Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.
No worse a husband than the best of men.
Marriage is a relationship based in no small part on virtues. The most basic of these is responsibility, for marriage is an arrangement held together by mutual dependence and reciprocal obligations. But successful marriages are about more than fulfilling the conditions of a contract. In good marriages, men and women seek to improve themselves for the sake of their loved one. They offer and draw moral strength by sharing compassion, courage, honesty, self-discipline and a host of other virtues. Husband and wives complete themselves through each other, and the whole of the union becomes stronger and more wonderful than the sum of the two parts.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don't work half the time.
Her husband wishes she were his mother, so he could run away from home.
Wife to husband: The only explanation I have is that my money self-destructs.
In the western part of the United States the paper money is Federal Reserve Notes issued by the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco. The bills have an identifying L on them. One day a husband had a paper dollar in his hand and said to his wife: "This is a new one. It hasn't an L on it. It has an H. Where's it from?" "I don't know," replied his wife. "I don't read money. I only spend it." Money is money and is meant to be used. But we wonder how many apply that money attitude to life itself. How many just spend life; spend it without pausing occasionally to read its meaning?
The country girl had been in the big university for some months but seemed depressed and discouraged. Her roommate tried to cheer her up. "The first year is always the hardest. Remember you came here to get a college degree." "Oh yeah," was the reply. "I came to find a husband, but I haven't even had a date."
The alert was screaming its warning against invading German planes. People were racing for the shelters. "Hurry up!" cried the housewife to her spouse. "I can't find my false teeth," called the befuddled and tardy husband. "False teeth!" returned the exasperated wife. "What do you think they are dropping? Sandwiches?"
A man and his wife, each in a different small plane, were out enjoying a flight, when the husband committed a flight error. He was able to recover, but his wife who was following him, crashed and was killed. The husband was distraught, blaming himself for the accident. One day when pleading with the Lord for forgiveness, he heard a voice saying "Jesus died, even for dumb mistakes."
I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it. I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.
She commandeth her husband, in any equal matter, by constant obeying him.
There's a touch of the priesthood in the academic world, a sense that a scholar should not be distracted by the mundane tasks of day-to-day living. I used to have great stretches of time to work. Now I have research thoughts while making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Sure it's impossible to write down ideas while reading "curious George" to a two-year-old. On the other hand, as my husband was leaving graduate school for his first job, his thesis advisor told him, "You may wonder how a professor gets any research done when one has to teach, advise students, serve on committees, referee papers, write letters of recommendation, interview prospective faculty. Well, I take long showers."
. . . this oligarchy of sex, which makes fathers, brothers, husbands and sons, the oligarchs over the mother and sisters, the wife and daughters of every household - which ordains all men sovereigns, all women subjects, carries dissension, discord, and rebellion into every house of the nation.
When two people marry they become in the eyes of the law one person, and that one person is the husband!
The only thing worse than a husband who never notices what you cook or what you wear, is a husband who always notices what you cook and what you wear.
My husband and I didn't sign a prenuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Ah, gentle dames! it gars me greet To think how monie counsels sweet, How monie lengthened sage advices, The husband frae the wife despises.
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
My mother buried three husbands . . . and two of them were only napping.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives.
If we must lose wife or husband when we live to our highest right, we lose an unhappy marriage as well, and we gain ourselves. But if a marriage is born between two already self-discovered, what a lovely adventure begins, hurricanes and all!
Art is a jealous mistress and if a man has a genius for painting, poetry, music, architecture or philosophy, he makes a bad husband and an ill provider.
