During the sitting, when the eyes closed the body relaxed and seemed to turn to warm liquid with all vestiges of the worries and anxiety of earlier oozing away and falling into a deep state of peace. After some while it felt as if I was looking into the abyss of nothingness. I felt the surrender and the possibility of dying was a natural next step. Give all of it up and drown in the Oneness of God. I knew that was all I had ever wanted. It was at that stage that all the build-up of the mindbody package that I knew to be "me/myself/I" seemed to slip off and was moved to the side, sort of floating to the left. Then the eyes opened and it was as if nothing had changed, yet with the feeling that everything had transformed irreversibly. Utterly unable to place what had actually happened, and with no desire to place it.
Quotes about Sitting
As you learn to leave alone the activity of unconsciously trying to be the mindbody that you think that you are - the mindbody that this "you" is currently flowing through - and you learn to move as this one that you truly are - this "you" of you; the very heart of existence - steadily, consciously and momentarily, the continuity of the ever deepening of this innermost as it keeps on entering its manifestation, through this mindbody that you find yourself flowing through, allows you to simply bubble in the sheer joy, pleasure, peace, delightfulness and stillness that this "you" of you is.
Zazen on the mountain
The birds have vanished down the sky.
Now the last cloud drains away.
Until only the mountain remains
Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.
Whether we sit with our arms folded this way and our legs crossed that way is of little consequence. But it is extremely important to check and see if whatever meditation we do is an actual remedy for our suffering.

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