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Corinne Edwards Interviews: The New Intimacy: Divorce (Dr. Judith Sherven & Dr. James Sniechowski) (1998)
Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski believe that the secret to keeping a good relationship going is to discover the magic at the heart of your differences. However, it is also important to know when to call it quits.
Sherven talks about how when couples refuse to enter into a meaningful dialogue to discuss problems in their relationship, and fail to really listen to one another's point of view, that is when the relationship is over, and there is no way for reconciliation. At that point, Sniechowski reasons, there is no relationship, it is a war.
The best thing to do at that point is to grieve the loss of it, but not get lost in feeling like a victim, because it is important to get on with your life.