What does it mean to acknowledge, affirm and promote our sensitivities as highly sensitive people (HSPs)?
The following definitions are from Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary of the English Language, 1996. The examples following the definitions may help us to rethink what we have been taught, what we have internalized, and what we can do differently when it comes to being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
Disparage
To belittle, demean, ridicule, discredit
Believing: “HSPs are weak, irritable, inferior, fearful, too emotional, too nervous, too intense.”
Beliefs often associated with this stage:
- There is something wrong with me
- I am a disappointment
- I am powerless
Feelings often associated with this stage:
- Dejected
- Hopeless
- Depressed
- Ashamed
- Overwhelmed
- Fragile
- Vulnerable
Deny
To refuse to recognize or acknowledge
Believing: “You’re too sensitive, you need to toughen up, bite the bullet, suck it up.”
Beliefs often associated with this stage:
- My needs are not important
- I cannot trust my judgement
- I am weak – I am a failure
- I have to be perfect
Feelings often associated with this stage:
- Stressed out
- Irritable
- Angry
- Resentful
- Guilty
- Heavy-hearted
Acknowledge
To admit to be real or true; to recognize the existence of
Believing: “Yes…your needs and mine are different…help me to understand you, so I can help you to understand me.”
Beliefs often associated with this stage:
- I can be myself
- I can get what I want and need
- I have choices
Feelings often associated with this stage:
- Relieved
- Intrigued
- Inspired
- Absorbed
Affirm
To state or assert positively
Believing: “HSPs have a unique way of being in the world; we have a more finely-tuned central nervous system, and we process things deeply and purposefully.”
Beliefs often associated with this stage:
- I can trust myself
- I can be myself and make mistakes
- I can learn to take care of my sensitive self
Feelings often associated with this stage:
- Proud
- Relaxed
- Passionate
- Hopeful
- Optimistic
Promote
To further, advance, or exalt; put in a higher position
Believing: “HSPs are not ‘better than’ non-HSPs, nor are we superior…yet, knowing that HSPs have unique gifts, talents, and skills and much to contribute to the world around us, our families, our workplaces, relationships, etc.”
Beliefs often associated with this stage:
- I deserve love and respect
- I am fine just as I am
- I can trust my judgment
- I can choose whom to trust
Feelings often associated with this stage:
- Appreciative
- Grateful
- Inspired
- Empowered
- Excited
From: Dr. Evonne Hedgepeth, Ph.D., “What Does It Really Mean to “Affirm” Versus “Promote” A handout used in cultural diversity training. Modified for HSPs by Jacquelyn Strickland, LPC. Use only with permission.
Stages of Cultural Awareness and Acceptance
Questions for Reflection
- Which state of Awareness & Acceptance do you identify with?
- What keeps you from moving forward to the next stage?
- What kind of support do you need to move forward?
- What is your biggest need as a HSP? What kind of support do you need to help address this need? Who can help you?
- Finally, an interesting and important question for journaling: “What am I actually afraid of?”
