What is the Hero’s Journey?
When I was in my early 20s and my father was dying, a friend gave me a painting. It depicted a river wending its way through soft mountains, with a small sailboat in the distance floating down the river. It struck me at the time as a metaphor for my life. And I was left with the sense that our life is like the journey in a fairy tale, a small vessel following the currents, passing through different terrains, in search of what’s around the next corner. The river knows where it’s going, but we on the boat do not.
On this life journey, we are each discovering the geography of our own inner world. And yet, when we take a step back and look at it from a larger perspective, that geography, and our life journey, is not so different from the basic story that humankind has been playing out since the beginning. Birth. Separation. Initiation.
Return. This shows up in our own lifecycle, and then in the countless ways that we are called to leave what is familiar to us and venture into the unfamiliar. Each of us slaying inner dragons and facing outer obstacles, to be reborn in a new version of ourselves, more true to who we are.
This death and rebirth motif shows up in stories and myths all over the world; is at the heart of some of our great religions; and animates our most powerful films.
George Lucas, struggling for years to create a film his heart had been calling him to write, was able to finish the Star Wars story while reading Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a 1000 Faces, which lays out the basic bones of the human story. Just as the heroes and heroines in that saga overcome fear and attachment to the familiar and rise up to be of real service to the Universe, we are each doing the same thing in our own universe.
Each of us is rising above our self-imposed limitations and outer challenges to expand our sense of self and walk our path of destiny. Joseph Campbell and the Hero’s Journey gave us a map to guide us, and signposts along the way, as we take our journey.
Myth as Metaphor
Before we explore the Hero’s Journey, we might remember that fairy tales and myths are not presented as historical truth, but are important as psychological truth. The demons, dragons, and allies that show up in myths are the projections of our own inner energies. That’s why there is such unity across all cultures and time periods, in what Joseph Campbell called the monomyth. For Jung, it was the collective unconscious.
These same energies and symbols show up in our dreams, helping us to recognize these qualities within ourselves. Myths show us our inner story on an outer level, helping us to navigate our lives through the power of metaphor, and teaching us how to cross the thresholds and face our dragons.
What is the Hero’s Journey?
The Hero’s Journey is a quest for self-transformation, for creative rebirth. We go out and seek, so that we can discover that the seeker is itself the mystery which the seeker seeks to know. You might think of the novel The Alchemist, where the hero returns home to find the treasure buried right where he began.
The basic storyline that Campbell describes in his Hero with a 1000 Faces is this:
“A hero ventures forth from the world of the common day into a region of supernatural wonder; fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won; the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
As we trace the steps of this hero’s journey in more detail, think of an iconic story like The Wizard of Oz. Or, more importantly, think of your own life and watch the metaphor unfold in your personal life journey.
1. Separation
We experience a call to action. Something shakes up our ordinary world. Divorce. Illness. Moving to another country. The birth of a child or death of a parent. Some form of crisis or suffering impels us out of our comfort zone. Our journey begins. Some people refuse this call and their life stagnates. But for those of us that answer the call, our life will not be the same.
At this point, the universe offers some help. We meet a mentor who helps to guide us. We read the right book or a dream inspires us. Our higher self is supporting us, and the universe will protect us as we become willing to take the leap into the unknown.
We cross the threshold into unfamiliar territory, and there is no looking back.
Our ego and our fear have loosened its grip upon us enough so that we are already leaving behind who we were and opening up to what awaits.
2. Initiation
More allies join us. Or we acquire skills or develop aspects of ourselves previously ignored. With these allies, skills, and newfound parts of ourselves, we face the monsters.
We are tested. This is a dark night of the soul.
We must acknowledge our worst fears and use all of our skills and wisdom to overcome the challenge. Sometimes we are victorious. Sometimes we are not.
3. Return
If we have survived the initiation, our journey is not yet over. We must take what we’ve learned, and integrate it back into our lives.
We cross back over the threshold, different, with more awareness, with something to offer those around us.
Maybe it’s the story that we bring back that is the biggest gift. Or maybe we now are called to teach others the skills we acquired. We resume our life in an upgraded form.
The Heroine’s Journey
We can also examine this pattern from a feminine perspective. Maureen Murdoch, in her book The Heroine’s Journey, sees the death-rebirth theme in terms of the need to slay the monster of the status quo of a patriarchal world. Each of us who have internalized the devaluation of the feminine, and have rejected parts of ourselves because of that, is on a quest to reconnect with the Goddess and heal our connection to our body, our spirit, and to nature.
Our inner demons – the feeling that we can never be enough, that we constantly have to do and achieve in order to be worthy – are disconnecting us from our authentic selves. And it is by listening to our bodies, and finding community amongst other seekers, that we can be reborn as whole and healed.
Demeter and Persephone
Murdoch explores the universal pattern of separation/initiation/return through the ancient Greek myth of Demeter (or Ceres), an Earth Goddess of grain and the harvest, and her daughter, Persephone. The myth starts with the brutal separation of mother and daughter. Hades, the god of the underworld, abducts the young woman and drags her away from the world of the living. Both mother and daughter then embark upon their own hero’s journeys, which will transform them, as well as the natural world itself.
Demeter, beginning the initiation phase of her journey, searches frantically for her daughter, and is helped by the goddess Hecate who helps her find out not only that Hades had abducted and raped her daughter, but that Zeus, king of the gods and brother to Hades, had sanctioned it.
Enraged by this realization, Demeter wanders around the countryside in grief, and since she is an Earth goddess, the crops begin to fail and there is no food to eat. This becomes a problem for Zeus because the people are no longer making offerings or sacrificing to the gods. Zeus then commands Hades to send Persephone back to her mother so that Demeter will abandon her grief and restore growth and fertility to the earth.
Meanwhile, Persephone has herself crossed the threshold into the underworld, experiencing the dark night of the soul. While there, she becomes queen of the underworld, finding previously unknown parts of herself. The final transformative moment comes when she eats one seed of the pomegranate, the food of the underworld, thereby internalizing the transformation that she has undergone.
Mother and daughter are finally reunited, in the return phase of their journey. But since Persephone had eaten one seed from the pomegranate, she cannot fully go back to what and who she was. In the myth, she is forced to spend one-third of the year in the underworld, during which Demeter mourns her, creating the season of winter when the world lies barren. Both mother and daughter have been transformed by their journeys, more aware of their power and who they truly are.
Be the Hero of Your Own Journey
Carl Jung said, “I made it the task of tasks of my own life to find by what mythology I was living.” So, by what mythology are you living? What has been your greatest call to action? What are your inner demons, or the thresholds you’ve crossed over forever altering your identity? What was your dark night of the soul? Who are your allies, what skills and qualities are you developing now to assist you on your journey?
We might begin to use the heroes and heroines in myths to lead by example. We can invoke these aspects of our own selves to inspire us and give us the courage and strength to walk our path, no matter how winding or dangerous it is. The most rewarding moments in life tend to come after a challenge, so we can even begin to appreciate our inner demons, as well as the dark confused energy that we encounter outside of ourselves.
When we stop fighting against ourselves, we become open to all the avenues of transformation available to us, and we come into alignment with the universe, where we can receive the greatest gifts and support in becoming who we truly are, becoming the hero or heroine of our own journey.
Follow Your Bliss
In his book The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell writes:
“Now, I came to this idea of bliss because in Sanskrit, which is the great spiritual language of the world, there are three terms that represent the brink, the jumping-off place to the ocean of transcendence: sat-chit-ananda. The word “Sat” means being. “Chit” means consciousness. “Ananda” means bliss or rapture. I thought, “I don’t know whether my consciousness is proper consciousness or not; I don’t know whether what I know of my being is my proper being or not; but I do know where my rapture is. So let me hang on to rapture, and that will bring me both my consciousness and my being.” I think it worked.”
When we feel the flow of the universe when we enjoy what we are doing and love who we are being, we are connecting to our consciousness and our true selves. That is the true result of following our hero’s journey.
In Pathways to Bliss, Campbell writes:
“What is it we are searching for? It is the fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for it is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the world, which is yourself.” When we have truly given the gift of ourselves to the world, we find ways to make a positive difference, and to inspire others to walk their hero’s path. Our life is our story, and when we can speak our story to others, we invite them to make their own journey.
My father’s death was an experience of the dark night of the soul. And yet, it set me on a path towards healing, spirituality, and finding my true self, and for that I am forever grateful. Life has offered many soul journeys since then, and each one has brought me into deeper connection to who I am, and closer to following my bliss.
About the Author
7 Tools for Managing Overwhelming Emotions
Let’s face it – sometimes emotions get the best of us. Once we are triggered, it is tough to be in pain and not do something that essentially makes it worse. It’s much easier to numb the pain temporarily, but unfortunately those coping methods tend to have negative consequences. Basically, we get into the habit of choosing short-term symptom relief rather than addressing the core issue. You know what I’m talking about. How many of you have used alcohol to cope with your feelings of stress or sadness? How many of you ended up in much worse pain the next day or, worse, by the end of the night in tears in front of people you don’t quite trust?
Other popular unhealthy coping methods include: TV, drugs, sex, cigarettes, food, gambling, prescription pills, and the ever so popular sweeping-it-under-the-rug method. I must admit these methods are very tempting, but we all know how they end. What’s worse is that we still engage in these behaviors. Why?! Well for one, these unhealthy solutions work very well in the immediate. The second reason is that they are much easier to engage in and usually come with pleasure.
What are we hiding from, though? It’s funny, but when you think about it, we are only hiding from negative emotion. What’s an emotion? Is it going to kill us? Is it going to last forever? Sometimes emotions can feel that they are going to last forever, but the answer is no. All emotions crescendo and then dissipate. They imitate movement like a sign curve. Keeping this in mind would make it a lot easier to navigate our emotions. In order to deal with overwhelming emotions it is helpful to have a tool belt to reach for in times of distress. Here are a few of these less dangerous, and unfortunately, less fun, ways of dealing with these pesky negative emotions:
- Put it in perspective
Sometimes when you take a step back and think about what is really important to you, the problem that you think you are experiencing becomes very small. Ask yourself, “Will I still be in this much pain in one week? A month? One year from now? Will I remember this as significant? When I die do I want to remember this as something I spent a lot of time on?
Death is the ultimate teacher. Life is precious because it is limited. Nothing is worth sacrificing our happiness for. Nothing. It is impossible to control outside events that cause disturbance within, but it is completely in our control to either hang on or let it go. When we cling or feed the negative emotion, it robs us of our limited time on this planet. You are not your thoughts, your emotions, your body, or your things. Do not let death teach you this at the last minute.
- Engage in an act of self love
Many people understand being physically ill and respect it as painful. If you get sick, oftentimes your loved ones will tell you, “You poor thing. Go home and take a hot bath!” But there is a double standard when it comes to being in pain from emotions. If you don’t feel well emotionally, it can be tough to find an empathetic ear. We all get scared to share our emotions at times. We are ultimately afraid to hear, “Suck it up or get over it.” These words do more harm than good. If you are not feeling well emotionally, I challenge you to engage in acts of self-love as if you were physically ill. Go home. Take a hot bath. Sleep. You never know, it might make you feel a little better to take care of yourself. The idea would be to soothe with the 5 senses. Find activities that are soothing to your each of your senses:
- Sight: Look at the sunset
- Sound: Listen to relaxing music
- Touch: Get a massage or go to yoga
- Smell: Aromatherapy in a nice hot bath
- Taste: Eat something that brings up good memories or give yourself that treat you love!
- Put a time limit on it
When we are hurt it is so easy to get lost in the rabbit hole. In the rabbit hole we become the emotions and thoughts that are plaguing us. We ruminate and get lost in trying to solve a problem that is unsolvable. We feed the emotion by believing the catastrophic thoughts that come up like, “I hate him and myself for trusting him. He never liked me and was just using me the whole time. I never want to see him again. I am going to call his parents and tell them what a bad person he is.”
Instead of letting these thoughts come and go we might actually act on them. We feel so horrible that we avoid people, stay in bed for weeks at a time, drink too much, or eat too much. In order to avoid this, put a time limit on it. Tell yourself that you are going to think or talk about this problem for only one hour a day until it is resolved or you come to acceptance. Once the hour is over, choose an activity that is the opposite of the emotion you are feeling to change your mood.
If you are sad, listen to happy music. If there is anger, watch a comedy on TV. If you are stressed and tense, go take a yoga class. Everyone deserves a break from time to time. Do not let one area of your life that is causing you pain engulf your entire world. You have the ultimate control over your happiness.
- Let the negative energy pass through you
Negative emotion is just negative energy. It does not help to squash it down, numb it or avoid it. The only way, is to face it head on and allow it to pass through you. This takes some bravery on your part. You must allow yourself to feel the pain. There are some tools that can help while you do this. You can allow yourself to get the support you need. Oftentimes, it is very difficult to be vulnerable and admit to others that you are having a hard time. In order to move the negative energy through your body it helps to talk to another trusted person. You can also release the energy by exercising, writing in a journal, or simply relaxing your body and letting your preconceived notions of how it “should” be, go.
- Observe the emotion
You are not the emotion or your thoughts. You can take a step back and witness what your thoughts and emotions do when there is a disturbance. Watch the thoughts or self-talk get faster as they ask you to fix them before they become abusive. Watch the emotion crescendo and dissipate. Do not avoid. Avoidance makes the emotion and the thoughts louder. Allow yourself to have the emotion, don’t fight it, and don’t escalate it by falling down the rabbit hole and attaching to the thoughts. Eventually it will pass. You do not really need to do anything for the pain to subside. It will on its own.
By this, I do not mean that you should not deal with your problems. By all means take care of yourself and your responsibilities. Just do not make decisions when you are in a heightened state. Wait until the emotion passes and then solve the problem. You will be able to see much clearer once the intensity has lessened.
- Delay, distract, and then decide
This tool, created by Marsha Linehan, is useful in order to inhibit negative reaction to a negative emotion. Many times, if we make a decision in the emotion it will make it worse. Basically, any negative urge or craving lasts for about 20 to 30 minutes. Help yourself by delaying your reaction and any subsequent actions for 20 to 30 minutes with a distraction.
You can go to work, help someone else, go for a walk, take a break from the trigger, read, or watch a movie. Once the time is up, make a pros and cons list as to whether your reaction is worth doing. Usually you will decide not to react the original way you had planned. For instance, slashing your boyfriend’s tires out because he lied to you probably won’t seem like such a good idea once some of the anger has passed.
- Become aware of your physical and emotional vulnerabilities
Sometimes our emotions can get the best of us when we are not feeling well. Become aware of your triggers. Ask yourself if you have any physical or emotional vulnerabilities that are getting in the way of managing your emotions. Some of these vulnerabilities are: hunger, lack of sleep, injury, illness, stress, lack of support, crisis, past trauma, negative core beliefs, etc. If you notice that the current problem is escalated due to one or more of these factors you may want to try to take care of the vulnerability first in order to prevent and manage the escalation of your emotion.
Embrace Your Emotions
My wish for us all is to start viewing negative emotion as an opportunity to practice these new skills rather than allowing the emotion to be a threat to our self-concept or survival. We do not have to fight and we do not need to flee (run or avoid). I hope that one or more of these resonates with you, and the next time you are in the emotion, you can remember to pull this list out of your wallet. Remember that it will pass, it is ok to have the emotion, and above all else you don’ t necessarily need to do anything. Let go and let it pass through you, because it will!
If you would like to learn more please visit or contact me at Good Therapy San Diego.
This article was inspired by The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
