Communicating In Our Fast-paced World: How to Find Balance
It’s amazing how quickly the world around us has changed as we progressively move forward in the age of information. Technology has brought many great advancements, but at the same time begs the most basic question: Are we moving further away from the ability to truly connect and communicate with those around us?
Look around you: every day you can bear witness to the impact that smartphones and social media are having on our society. Just this morning, dropping my son off at school, I saw several parents, teachers and children on their phones. How did we survive when we only had land lines? I believe it’s safe to say that a great many of us are having an intimate affair with our phones, utilizing them to “hide” from life and ourselves.
What’s the answer to keeping up with technology without losing yourself along the way?
I strongly believe that you have to keep yourself accountable, making sure that you are not falling prey to the pitfalls of advanced technology. This is extremely important as we already multi-task way too much. And things are only moving faster, so it’s important to find new and safe ways to strengthen our ability to communicate and connect with others.
It’s time to take your own “communication pulse.”
Do you spend more then an hour a day on any social media platform? Are you constantly in a reactive state, which prevents you from listening to others? Do you look at your phone when you are in a conversation with another? Do you answer calls at the dinner table or other valuable family moments? Do you find yourself choosing to text instead of having a conversation? Are you having conversations over text or email that should be done in person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then you may have an imbalance.
As much as I appreciate modern technology, it’s changed our ability to communicate on many levels. Communication is becoming a lost art and it’s failing miserably at the hands of our children. Remember when you couldn’t be contacted every moment of the day and there were moments of the day you just got lost in work or play? Remember when you didn’t have to meet an expectation by answering someone immediately? Many of the modern day smartphone users feel compelled to respond right away to a text or email and more often then not this disrupts the flow of your day. Additionally, with less time to process our thoughts, our responses become more of a reaction instead of a conversation.
How does social media contribute to this imbalance?
Social media has many advantages, but there are plenty of drawbacks as well. I believe that many people in our world use Facebook and Twitter as a hiding space. Sitting behind the screen of a computer or phone gives people the courage to say what they want without a filter or compassion. Our emotional intelligence is getting lost in translation and we are slowly losing the ability to be honest with each other and work through difficult conversations; to take a moment and sit with a situation, even when it feels uncomfortable, and move toward communication to solve the problem.
I can’t tell you how many Facebook debates I skip over daily, wondering whether that conversation would be happening if it was in person. The usual answer? No, it wouldn’t, because you would have the connectivity factor and the ability to read body language, which would help ease a conversation that may get heavy.
Where’s the real problem?
The real problem is two-fold. We are losing our ability to communicate with honesty and kindness. Second, if we don’t have the skill to communicate in truth, whether it be a debate or difficult conversation, then how do we expect our children to be able to communicate? This is a mounting concern, as our future generations can text faster then they can talk.
What’s the solution?
Start with awareness. How much time are you on social media, and how much are you on your phone? The amount may shock you, but conscious awareness is the first step to solving our communication problem. Next, come up for air; realize that you do not have to respond immediately to anyone by text or email. Pause, and respond when the time is right for you. Then dig a little deeper: how many times during the day are you derailed because you’re interrupted by a text or email? How much time does each interruption take from your day?
How do we move forward?
Set some family phone rules. Start with some simple limitations, such as only using Facebook on the weekend or certain times throughout the day. Respond to all texts or emails periodically through out the day (three times, say). Oh, and please stop inviting people to play Farmville. 😉
Ask that no phones be on the dinner table or when you are out to eat. Spend time talking and enjoying each other; it goes a long way. Save difficult conversations for person-to-person visits and utilize texts for quick responses, not conversations.
Enjoying the gifts that come with technology is important, but moving forward into a new age with balance is even more important.
About the Author
The Hero's Journey: Joseph Campbell Now More Relevant Than Ever
Making sense of our consciousness can be difficult, and in our materialist, western world we try endlessly to objectify that experience. But over the course of the past century, there have been a number of intermediaries reminding us to reconnect with elements of the spiritual journey.
Names like Alan Watts, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Deepak Chopra have sparked a renaissance of interest in the nature of consciousness, meditation, and mindfulness. They remind us of stories and lessons learned over the course of our history, and within these, we find recurring themes of transcendent truth.
But there is one liaison between the old world and the new, who bridged these philosophies and connected the ancient esotericism of the east to the pragmatism of the scientific west, through archetypes and allegory.
Joseph Campbell defined this thirst for truth over a lifetime by examining artists, psychologists, writers, and philosophers. He referred to the lessons in their mythos as the Masks of God, and the protagonists within those stories as the Hero with a Thousand Faces.
Campbell consumed as much of their wisdom as possible, voraciously reading nine hours a day for years at a time. He absorbed the work of great western minds like Carl Jung, Pablo Picasso, James Joyce, and Sinclair Lewis. Through these lessons, he connected the dots of contemporary consciousness with the timeless teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible, Greek mythology, and the Tibetan Book of the Dead.
In those years of study, he found lessons that applied to man and society at large – overarching narratives that struck a universal chord, particularly the sense that at some point in our lives, we find there is a call unanswered, a void in the spirit that must be fulfilled.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls. The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
– Joseph Campbell
The Hero’s Journey
Campbell said you can never be at peace with yourself if you do not answer that call. The call to adventure that forces the hero to remove himself from the ordinary world and face whatever it is that threatens his safety, comfort, and way of life.
At first, the call is refused when fears and second thoughts arise, or the comforts of the home seem too difficult to abandon. But eventually, the hero finds a mentor who pushes them and provides the tools needed to confront their tribulation.
When one considers the “Hero’s Journey,” Luke Skywalker, Arjuna, or even Hamlet could fit the role, but these stereotypes are meant to convey a general truth about finding the fulfillment we all seek. The personal ordeals that confront us can be difficult to face, causing us to relinquish a part of ourselves and take solace in a place that feels safe, while we remain oblivious to what could be learned by challenging those fears.
For some, it may be a vice; an addiction that keeps us trapped in some behavior or lifestyle. Campbell looked to the Tibetan Book of the Dead to confront this type of ordeal, learning that the scripture taught one to strive for the opposing virtue of whatever your vice may be; to overcome what he called the “inmost cave.” By cultivating the antithesis of your vice, you will find the self-actualization that defines your being.
This sentiment has been echoed many times over the ages, and Campbell summed it up when he said, “Gods suppressed become devils, and often it is these devils whom we first encounter when we turn inward.”
