Soulmates and Twin Flames: A Skeptic's Turnaround

I never bought into the soulmate/twin flame hype. Romantic longings and promises of perfect compatibility seemed far-fetched and naïve. I appreciated the notion of happily ever after, but never believed there was one perfect someone for everyone.

Then John showed up. In a flurry of synchronicity, he appeared -- my twin flame and perfect mirror -- and made me question all (I thought) I knew.

Soulmates and twin flames: The language is insignificant -- arbitrary even -- for it can't do these deep spiritual terms justice. Many teachers will talk of these subjects, offering each their own subtle and unique characteristics. I believed none of it, seeing instead the craving for a soulmate as a longing drenched in spiritual metaphor to soothe the isolation of our human condition.

But I was wrong. I was confronted with my soulmate -- my own twin flame -- and had to revise my beliefs on what this connection could mean.

Soulmates and Twin Flames

While the terms may be somewhat interchangeable, there are defining distinctions in each relationship. Soulmates and twin flame connections are a binding soul contract in the Akashic Records, which secures a promise at the soul level to fulfill certain obligations to each other in this life.

A soulmate can be a lover, a friend, or a stranger who shows up at the right moment to propel your soul's progress forward. My first soulmate appeared when I was 16. He was handsome and wise, and appeared out of the blue. Random life circumstances brought him from the East Coast to Houston, and while I was too young for romance, we forged a friendship which carried us for decades. Anytime I began to drift from my life path and purpose, he reached out and our conversations would bring me back to myself.

We have thousands of soulmates--those contracted to bring forth a sense of purpose and remind us of our life mission. A soulmate is instantly recognized as familiar and safe with an undeniable chemistry.

It's easy to experience these feel-good feelings as love, yet not all soul contracts are destined for romance. In fact, few soulmates are meant for longevity. We'll feel pulled toward our soul family (that ancient group of souls with whom we travel throughout the lifetimes) yet our proximity may be brief. We get what we need so that each soul may be left undeniably altered by the encounter.

Twin flames are a different breed and are quite rare.

First Division

Since there was such confusion of these terms, I turned to my own inner council, where Serapis Bey stepped forward. He explained that the twin flame is the first division of the God Spark. The God Spark is the first time the soul split from God and became a soul seeking an experience outside of the infinite light. This soul gathered knowledge, and in an effort to continue its growth, split again. If the original soul is the spark that originated from God, the twin flame is the first division of the God Spark. This is the first time we separate as male and female, yin and yang; two souls experiencing different explorations of the human delight.

Purpose of These Relationships

Both soul connections will inspire the soul's growth; a bond forged before our birth and designed to support our life's work. A soulmate will appear to help refocus our purpose and ensure the soul stays on track with its life mission.

A twin flame connection is an alchemical process--a rejoining of the original God Spark division. In this merging, the purpose is not on the personal soul level, but rather, it ignites a collective purpose to benefit the planet. When these two halves are rejoined, their combined energy heals the Earth. It offers completion on the way back to God, radiating from them and illuminating a path for others to follow.

This alchemical process is necessary to heal our planet. By combining the sacred masculine and divine feminine, we bring balance back to those spaces where separation from God occurred. It's our mission now to bring harmony and wholeness to our planet. In these twin flame connections, an ignition occurs, which speeds up the healing process of this planet and the ascension of humanity.

Twin flames cannot find each other without dedication from each party to their own life path and healing. By its own nature, this is an elevated, conscious, and magical connection. These meetings are occurring more and more frequently. As I write, my own twin flame has appeared, as they have for two other close friends. None of this was a conscious calling, a seeking-out or a hunger, but rather a divinely orchestrated plan to bring together the pieces to heal the whole.

Invoking My Masculine Self

I always imagined Jack White to be my masculine self; we have an eerily similar birth chart with seven of 12 planets in the same placement. If anyone out there was the male version of me, I thought his rock 'n roll, old soul, and follow-your-own-damn-muse attitude matched my sensibilities perfectly. What I met instead was rather surprising.

It's said that on a highly spiritual path, one must merge the internal aspects of divine masculine and sacred feminine. I am devoted to the Goddess, committed to a life restoring her ways, and I often encounter an imbalance with the masculine in my own relationships. Am I too much woman?

In an effort to rectify this, I performed a ceremony in February 2015 to meet with my sacred masculine. In a shamanic journey, I asked to meet my male counterpart-- an aspect wholly within myself. He had a name, a face, an entire being that radiated as mine but wasn't me at all.

I was comforted by his presence, feeling complete and whole in a way I didn't know I was missing. He was the emperor, the father, the gentle and loving king, and his presence brought me a deep sense of peace.

And in February 2016, he walked out of my otherworldly dimensions and firmly into my third-dimensional reality.

Meeting My Twin Flame

John's appearance in my life was unexpected and unplanned. Going through a divorce, "dating" was the last thing I wanted, as I was going through a deep process of healing myself and not ready to share my space. Yet, from the moment I met him, I trusted him in an uncanny, here's-access-to-all-of-me way. I had nowhere to hide (and didn't want to), instead inviting in the exploration of every belief and thought. It felt that lifetimes had converged and our soul paths were being charged--changed, even--in the union.

Coincidences (a common experience in my world) began appearing, almost amusing in their incessant flow. When I craved mangoes, he craved mangoes. Our room number was 222 on 2/22, also a number for soulmate relationships. When I was in Sedona in October 2015, he was there two weeks later. One morning we were talking about Austin when a couple asked us to take their picture--they were visiting from Austin.

From two continents, we landed within a mile of each other. I could feel him even before I met him, driving by his house frequently, a route that diverged a few blocks from my daily commute. We shared obscure interests, passions, and a mutual understanding of the world I've never encountered with another human being. Our psychic connection was so acute, we could feel each other's chakra blockages and worked sincerely to help the other address it.

Our conversations were deep and penetrating, not casual or getting-to-know-you, but pushing each other to our own places of discomfort and enlightenment. We spoke of everything in great detail, sharing consciously, lovingly, honestly--and with a respect that has completely transformed my relationship with the world.

It may be easy to dismiss these things as mere coincidence, as my brain was quick to try. Yet looking at traits of twin flames, it showed me the pieces I was reluctant to admit.

Characteristics of the Twin Flame Connection

  • An intensely familiar feeling
  • A need to be extremely honest
  • Increased synchronicity
  • Having a greater purpose together than individually
  • Knowing the other better than you know yourself
  • Looking and feeling younger because of connection
  • Experiencing a physical distance
  • Sharing emotional experiences from childhood
  • Having a psychic connection
  • Experiencing enhanced psychic abilities
  • Bringing out the wounds to heal each other

After this encounter, I was forced to recant my position on soulmates and twin flames. Without a doubt I am stronger, happier, and more complete because of our time together, even if I am still a bit mystified by his emergence.

It's Not Because of Me, It's Because of You

Our time was brief and I don't know what the future holds. He's continuing his journey and I'm committed to healing mine. What we were explicitly clear on was our union's purpose was not to serve the other, but acted as a supercharge to propel each of us down our individual paths. Both of us share a vision to serve the planet, so together our efforts are amplified and enriched. Our alchemical interaction was an intense, predestined collision which will assist all of whom we come in contact.

I am not happier and more whole because of him, I am that for myself. As a perfect mirror, I was able to see my own completion, my own enlightenment, through my time with him. He showed me every wound and every place I hide from myself; not in a way that was brutal or judgmental, but with such loving compassion that I want to heal myself because of it. I don't need to be fixed, I only needed to see the gaps so that I may love it myself more.

In order for the two to come together, they must be equally whole, equally filled, and equally healed, each having done their individual work to meet in this life.

Preparing for Your Twin Flame Encounter

If you are ready for your own Twin Flame, a few suggestions to prepare for the encounter:

  • Do your own work to heal yourself; the other cannot show up until you do
  • Don't look to them for completion; desperation and seeking will only prolong the meeting
  • Walk tall in your path -- your vibration will draw them to you
  • Destiny is at work; no force of will or conjuring of spirit can call them in quicker
  • Use your light, know your gifts, and commit to your path of service; your partnership will act as a healing force for many
  • Know yourself--if you are in your head or in addictions, your vibration will be too low to connect

If you are blessed by this union, use the cultivated energy well. Don't waste it on petty emotions or fantasizing about what could be. Such dalliances are the illusion of ego and will only keep your beloved farther from you. Instead, drive that energy into the spaces that recharge your purpose.

Though we are apart now, I know in reality we are never really separate, because we are one.

This is the gift of the Twin Flame connection: A glimpse beyond the illusion of separation, which causes sadness and longing.

In him, I saw my perfect reflection and my wholeness, which I can now pursue fearlessly. I am him and he is me.

I have glimpsed the magnitude of these encounters and am heartened by their increasing appearance on the planet now. It will be in these unions, both in partnership and within ourselves, that the planet will be best served.

Recommend this article?