Aubrey Marcus’ Darkness Retreat Produced Psychedelic Visions
Aubrey Marcus is widely known as being the founder of health and fitness brand Onnit, a company focused on what he calls “Total Human Optimization,” which develops dietary supplements, nootropics (natural compounds that enhance brain function), and exercise gear.
Concurrent with his company’s meteoric growth, Marcus has become one of the most popular voices in the alternative, new age space with his eponymous podcast, where he discusses topics ranging from mental health to plant medicine, sexuality, and cultural paradigm shifts.
Like most stories of success, Marcus struggled in his early adulthood to find true meaning in life. While discussing his legacy in a recent interview on Open Minds with Regina Meredith, Marcus said, “I was looking for my purpose. I always felt like I had something important to give.”
This sentiment began early in his life, inspired by movies depicting sagacious masters who encouraged their protegés by telling them they had something important to contribute to the world. But like the archetypal Hero’s Journey, his road to success was punctuated by obstacles he first had to overcome.
One of the ways Marcus gained clarity on his journey was by imbibing the powerfully psychedelic ayahuasca brew, which gave him insight into the nature of his mind and his role in the universe. Today, psychedelic modalities through breathwork, sensory deprivation, and plant medicines are topics regularly discussed on his podcast.
But it was through his initial experience with the DMT-containing ayahuasca that Marcus embraced not just an internal philosophical shift, but also one in his identity. Choosing to rebrand with his middle name “Aubrey,” he began to build Onnit, based on a conversation with Joe Rogan about what kind of supplement he would be interested in trying. When Rogan responded with a cognitive enhancer made from plants and natural substances, he began formulating Alpha Brain and subsequently formed a fortuitous partnership with the world’s most popular podcaster.
Marcus’s conclusions about life are highly influenced by his fascinating firsthand experiences that drive his philosophical curiosities. While potent psychedelics like ayahuasca are an almost guaranteed method of achieving ego death and confronting inner demons, Marcus’ desire to explore the deeper realms of human consciousness has taken him even further.
In 2020, he embarked on a retreat spent in complete darkness for an entire week. This sensory deprivation was undertaken with the intention of self-reflection as well as inducing a release of endogenous DMT to produce psychedelic visions. Though the first few days didn’t exactly produce powerful visions, Marcus says he did contemplate and pick apart every aspect of his life, convincing himself he needed to change everything, but these thoughts were fleeting. Then, after a few days, he says he eventually experienced some of the most intense visions, culminating in a discussion with the Buddha, himself.
Marcus says the insight from these experiences gave him new outlooks on life including an appreciation for his family and loved ones, in addition to learning how the machinations of the ego shape our daily thought patterns.
Marcus’s work is also about helping people discover the freedom to be themselves by recognizing who they are in all their complexity. He tells Meredith we are really a mixture of good and bad, courageous and fearful, and that we don’t have to pretend to be one or the other. It’s about being aware of the “shadow aspects” that we suppress instead of embracing who we are.
Marcus admits, “I know nothing. But every day I ask questions and take a seat at the table where Truth likes to have snacks.”
7 Self-Knowledge Exercises To Truly Discover Who You Are
Self-knowledge is a process of inner exploration that helps us understand how we think, what we feel, and why we act the way we do. It involves looking inward with honesty, acknowledging both our strengths and limitations.
In this article, we explore why it’s important to know ourselves, how to begin that journey, and which practical exercises can help us discover who we really are.
Table of Contents
- The Importance Of Discovering Who We Are
- How To Begin Our Path Toward Self-Knowledge
- Self-Knowledge Activities To Deepen Our Understanding Of Ourselves
- Writing A Personal Journal
- Answering Deep Self-Knowledge Questions
- Taking A Personality Test
- Exploring The Birth Chart
- link text=”Using Cards As A Tool For Symbolic Introspection” url=”#using-cards-as-a-tool-for-symbolic-introspection” target=”_self” /]
- Exploring Our Personality With The Enneagram
- Analyzing Our Wheel Of Life To Detect Imbalances
- Explore More Self-Knowledge Tools On Gaia
- Integrating Self-Knowledge Into Everyday Life
The Importance Of Discovering Who We Are
Many times we go through life following routines, expectations, or obligations without asking ourselves if what we do is actually connected to who we are deep down. We may reach certain goals or meet what’s expected of us, but if we do it from a place of disconnection, it’s common to feel exhausted, empty, or find it hard to see real meaning in what we do. Living without an inner compass can lead us to make decisions that don’t represent us and to maintain relationships or lifestyles that pull us away from our essence.
On the other hand, when we begin to understand what moves us, what we value, and what we need, decisions stop being automatic. A sense of internal order arises, which is reflected in how we live, how we relate, and how we respond to daily challenges. Living from our truth, even if it brings discomfort or uncertainty at first, brings a deeper sense of calm—less dependent on what’s outside.
This process of knowing ourselves isn’t a goal we reach once and for all—it’s a constant practice cultivated in everyday life. It is a way of being in relationship with ourselves: observing ourselves honestly, questioning our beliefs, reviewing what we choose and what we avoid. And in that movement of self-exploration and reconstruction, we gain clarity, depth, and meaning.
How To Begin Our Path Toward Self-Knowledge
Self-knowledge begins with an internal decision: to look at ourselves with more attention. Sometimes, it’s enough to pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and notice what’s happening inside us. That small pause can be the starting point for establishing a more conscious relationship with our inner world.
Over time, that space of observation becomes clearer and more natural. We begin to notice recurring thoughts, emotions that are hard to express, or decisions we make without questioning them. It’s not about correcting everything at once, but about recognizing what’s there so we can act with greater clarity and meaning.
Self-Knowledge Activities To Deepen Our Understanding Of Ourselves
If we feel the urge to know ourselves better but don’t know where to begin, we can rely on certain practices that offer us valuable guidance. Writing in a journal, answering reflective questions, or taking a personality test can help us see more clearly what we think, feel, and do.
These tools don’t offer definitive answers, but they do open inner doors that are worth exploring. What’s essential is to maintain an honest attitude and openness to the process.
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Writing A Personal Journal
Keeping a journal is a simple yet powerful practice for exploring what we think and feel. By recording our daily experiences, we can detect emotional patterns, recurring reactions, or themes that need attention. You can also practice automatic writing, with no filters or corrections, to connect with deeper parts of your inner world.
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Answering Deep Self-Knowledge Questions
Asking ourselves deep questions can open up spaces that usually remain hidden. Questions like “What gives us meaning?”, “What are we avoiding?”, or “What do we need to let go of?” activate reflection and allow us to explore motivations, fears, and desires we may not have previously considered. It doesn’t matter if no immediate answer comes—the very act of asking already sets the process in motion.
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Taking A Personality Test
Taking a personality test can help us put into words certain traits or tendencies that are part of who we are. Tools like MBTI, DISC or the Big Five offer frameworks for understanding how we think, how we relate to others, and what kind of environment supports our development. It’s not about labeling ourselves, but about gaining clarity on how we function internally.
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Exploring The Birth Chart
The birth chart reflects the configuration of the sky at the moment of our birth. Through its symbols and archetypes, we can identify emotional patterns, relationship styles, talents, and personal challenges. It is a symbolic guide that does not define who we are, but it does allow us to understand ourselves from a broader and deeper perspective.
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Using Cards As A Tool For Symbolic Introspection
Tarot, oracle, or archetype cards can serve as gateways to our inner world, through images, symbols, and intuitive associations. By asking a question and observing the card that emerges, a dialogue with the unconscious opens. It’s not about predicting the future, but about giving shape and language to what we may not yet be able to see clearly.
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Exploring Our Personality With The Enneagram
The Enneagram is a system of nine personality types that describes how we perceive the world, how we react to our environment, and what we seek on an emotional level. Recognizing our type allows us to more consciously observe our automatic behaviors, fears, and deep motivations. From there, we can work on our growth with more clarity and direction.
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Analyzing Our Wheel Of Life To Detect Imbalances
The Wheel of Life is a visual exercise that helps us assess how we feel in different areas: health, relationships, purpose, work, finances, among others. By completing it, we can identify which areas are balanced and which need attention. It is a practical tool to focus our energy more consciously and in alignment.
Explore More Self-Knowledge Tools On Gaia
On Gaia you’ll find a wide variety of content designed to support you in your self-knowledge process. There are series, documentaries, courses, and guided practices that cover all the topics we’ve discussed in this article: astrology, enneagram, meditation, tarot, personal development, and more. These resources are designed to help you go deeper into your inner world with clear, accessible, and high-quality information.
An excellent place to start is with the series Transcendence, which offers a comprehensive view of how mind, body, and consciousness are connected. It’s an introductory program that combines science, spirituality, and practical tools to help you begin to know yourself from a broader and more transformative perspective.
Integrating Self-Knowledge Into Everyday Life
Knowing ourselves doesn’t mean much if we leave it at the level of reflection. True value arises when we begin to bring that understanding into daily life: into how we make decisions, how we set boundaries, and how we respond when something makes us uncomfortable. Self-knowledge becomes alive when it influences our actions—not just our thoughts.
Integrating what we discover takes practice and patience. Sometimes it means making small adjustments, other times holding onto decisions that may not be comfortable. It’s not about getting it perfect, but about staying aware of when we stray from what we know is true for us—and choosing to return.
Over time, this internal work translates into a more honest relationship with ourselves. We learn to listen before reacting, to recognize when we need to pause, and to choose from a more conscious place. That is one possible closure for this journey: not arriving at a final answer, but continuing to inhabit the process with greater clarity and presence.
