8 Ways to Spot a Liar

8 Ways to Spot a Liar

Little white lies, big ol’ whoppers of deception…they’re everywhere in our lives whether we like it or not. While you may not be able to stop them, you might be able to tell when they’re happening and act accordingly. As it turns out, there are several telltale signs that the average liar throws out there, so keep an eye open and detect deception for yourself:

Facial Signs

People may think they can conceal their emotions, but studies have proven they can’t hide everything! Experts advise paying close attention to hard-to-hide micro-expressions; these clues are often so difficult to detect that even trained experts have trouble discerning them. But you may be able to spot the more obvious ones, like reddening on the person’s cheeks, since anxiety can cause people to blush. Other indicators of lying? Flared nostrils, lip nibbling, deep breathing, and rapid blinking, which hint that the brain is working overtime.

Eye Movement

Generally, if people are thinking of visual information to answer a question, their eyes will move up. This is how they retrieve mental pictures. Most right handed people will look up and right when remembering and up and left when creating or visualizing. This is an unconscious habit, but it’s also a reliable one. Looking up and to the left doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is making something up, however. It simply means she’s searching for a mental picture.

The key in reading eye movements is the same as reading other clues. You look for what’s different. Notice when they don’t look up in the same way, or when they look up but perhaps to the other side, or when they maintain eye contact with you when they would normally do otherwise.

This bit last is an interesting point. Most people imagine that we maintain eye contact when we tell the truth and break it when we lie. Not true. The majority of people will maintain eye contact when lying, because they don’t need to retrieve information from their minds and, therefore, don’t need to move their eyes. At another level, they are eager to appear sincere, and so consciously decide to keep looking at you. The eyes are the window!

Body Language

When discerning a person’s truthfulness, it’s important to examine the person’s overall status, as there’s no one feature that’s guaranteed to give her away. Honesty is characterized by features that are in sync with one another—so besides posture, notice the fit between face, body, voice, and speech. Like an animal avoiding detection, a liar may pull his arms and legs inward or keep his movements to a minimum—anything to appear smaller. Liars often shove their hands behind their back because those fidgety fingers might give them away.

Smiles

Is she just happy? Or is she lying? A smile can sometimes mask a person’s true feelings. Pay close attention to how a person smiles as well as other facial movements. You may be able to detect the emotions he or she is trying to hide—such as fear, anger, and disgust. A true smile will incorporate both a person’s lips and eyes.

Voice Pattern Cues

Although a change in voice can be the tip-off to spot a liar, experts say that to be sure, you should also pay attention to a person’s speech rate and breathing pattern—if either speeds up or slows down, chances are you’re not hearing the whole truth.

Word Cues

Liars tend to avoid exclusionary words like “but,” “nor,” “except,” and “whereas,” because they have trouble with complex thought processes. Also, they are less likely to use the words “I,” “me,” and “mine.” In their attempts to distance themselves psychologically from their tall tales, liars will tend to communicate using fewer personal pronouns. Instead, they’ll speak about themselves in the third person (“This is a girl who doesn’t like to commit”) or even truncate their language (“Nice to be here today”)—anything to give themselves psychological distance from the lie.

The Question

It’s normal for someone to look away when asked a difficult question. But when someone avoids your gaze when asked a simple question, you should probably think twice.

Sworn Statements

To sell us on the integrity of their answers, liars often use phrases emphasizing the validity of their statements, like “To tell the truth” and “To be perfectly honest.” Guess what? More often than not, these verbal tip-offs frequently invoke religion. Think of expressions like “I swear on a stack of Bibles” and “As God is my witness.” Most truthful people don’t need to go that far.



How to Free Your Soul: Liberating Your Authentic Self

How to Free Your Soul: Liberating Your Authentic Self

In modern society, we tend to wear a lot of hats, or masks, or whatever metaphor you’d like to use. We have one for our home life, one for work-life, one for close friends and family, one for other friends we’re not as close with…. the list goes on. But what about that unmasked self? Your true, authentic self, the one maybe you only really know? 

Is it even possible to show that authentic self to others without some type of filter? And is it even worth it? The short answer, yes. And by embracing this authentic self, you’ll be better prepared to take on the more meaningful pursuits of life, such as your soul’s core desires. These desires of attaining fulfillment, desire, and eventually enlightenment are what we’re all here to do right?

What Does it Mean to Free Your Soul?

To free your soul is to embrace the essence of that authentic self, and wear fewer masks. Of course, it may not always be appropriate to not put on some sort of filter for various life scenarios, but the more you work toward embodying that true self, the more secure you’ll become, subsequently improving your well-being. 

And by improving your well-being at the most basic levels, you can then begin to pursue spiritual well-being at higher levels. 

Understanding Core Soul Desires

Ancient Vedic texts tell us that there are four core soul desires: the desire for purpose (dharma), the means to fulfill our purpose (artha), the pleasure associated with living our purpose (kama), and freedom (moksha).

These four purusharthas, also known as the four aims of life, are intrinsic. They’re directly linked to the personal, unique Jivatman part of our soul and the infinite, unlimited Paramatman part of our soul.

1. DHARMA

Your duty, calling, or life’s purpose; you’ve likely heard the phrase “finding your Dharma,” which is typically meant in terms of finding your purpose in life that leads to happiness and fulfillment. 

The concept of Dharma is an interesting one and can vary in meaning across the eastern religions that embrace it. Dharma can also refer to the underlying order of the universe or self-organizing nature of reality to which we inevitably align with. Dharma can also refer to the teachings of Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, and Jainism. 

2. ARTHA

Prosperity, or having the things you need to do your dharma. Again, in eastern philosophy, these concepts aren’t simply defined and can mean a few things, but essentially your Artha is the foundational and material things needed in your life. For some, this can mean wealth, a home, and material prosperity—things that make you feel secure and not wanting. For others, however, this can mean health and wellness, because without these you’ll be distracted and focused on attaining them, rather than focusing on spiritual growth and some of the more intangible pursuits in life.

3. KAMA

Desire or pleasure; the reward of living our dharma. You’ve likely heard the word Kama before in terms of sexual pleasure and desire—the Kama Sutra. But Kama isn’t purely sexual, it refers to any type of longing, wish, passion, or desire. When balanced with the other three goals of life, Kama is important and necessary to have, if you had no passion or desire for anything in your life, it would be meaningless and you’d probably be pretty depressed. Finding your Kama, and the Kama that really drives you is an absolute must in the attainment of happiness and fulfillment.

4. MOKSHA

Liberation, freedom, or release. The first three lead to this last one. Moksha is tantamount to enlightenment, or the freedom from ignorance and suffering. This is much in alignment with enlightenment: literally lightening up (moving from the base chakras to the ethereal upper ones), and living from a place of love. It’s important to understand each of these forces at the beginning of your personal growth journey to end up experiencing Moksha.

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