Are You an Emotional Stuffer? LOVEolution Project

This morning during meditation, I observed a synergy of polar opposites between peace and chaos. It may have been the first time that I toed the real line of chaos and peace within the same space, but regardless, it was liberating. I found stillness and a deeper understanding that has patiently been waiting for me to arrive.

During this profound moment of stillness, my life as an emotional stuffer passed by me in full reflection. It was a humbling moment, complete with a non-judgmental knowing of why we repress our emotions. We repress because we are conditioned at a very young age to "fit in" with the world around us, when all we really desire is love and happiness. Unfortunately, many of us surrender the true source of love and pursue a misfit imposter (the ego) to many misguided places. And so begins the life of emotional stuffing!

What is repression?

Repression is actually quite sneaky and deceitful in many ways. When we are young, those who love us start to paint on our canvas with many great intentions. However, these intentions, although loving, are misdirected to help us "fit into" a one-size-fits-all world. It begins when we start the system of schooling.

When we start our first year of schooling, we are quickly categorized with many labels such as smart, hyperactive, misbehaver, or daydreamer, without the consideration of emotional confidence. Our school systems today only teach to a part of the child instead of the whole being. This is the first step in the process of conditioning by the world and sparks a flare of insecurity. This continues to thrive with our "one way is the right way" guide to successful living. Soon we are dressed with so many roles and labels that we have lost our connection with our authentic, bright selves.

How many adults do you know who don’t know what they want to be when they grow up?

What happens when we do not grow emotionally


Naturally, as we are a "whole being," when we lose our emotional connection we begin to feel extremely desensitized and misunderstood. To make up for this lack of emotional security at a young age (school), we begin to bully others and forms cliques because we feel safer in numbers. This gets more intense as we become adults.

As adults, we do everything we can to control our environment so that we do not have to feel. We will utilize many forms of addiction to repress so we can feel good in the moment. Additionally, we are so busy and live on extreme overdrive that we start believing we do not have time for feeling anyway. So where do our feelings go?

More, More, More

As we continue to detached from our moral compass (compassion, empathy, integrity), we begin to see significant levels of greed, a need for more power, and money. But once we reach the top, then what? With no more milestones to chase and labels to wear, we are once again suffering because we have lost the vision of what is really important in life.

We forgo the nurturing of our relationships with our partners, our children, and our friends—for what? Simultaneously, many giant corporations take advantage of this disconnection right in front of our faces. I call this the "sheeple effect"—when we no longer have the ability to discern right from wrong and become like a flock of sheep that follow without question.

We let the ability to critically think become a lost art. We continue to lash out at one another, with completely misdirected frustration as a result.

We need to go back to the basics to understand how we arrived at emotional stuffing in the first place. Emotion ‒ a word derived from the French that means to set in motion or move forward ‒ needs to be embraced.

Doesn’t it make sense that emotions are supposed to move through you as an opportunity to transform?

So how do we move our emotions through us? Stay tuned for my next article.

Become Present with Yourself

Before we can begin to let our emotions up and out, we need to learn what it’s like to truly connect to our deepest selves. We must be present with the most important relationship we’ll ever have—the one with ourselves.

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jesshb1, posted on June 13, 2015

As an immigrant coming from a culture were emotions are freely expressed and vividly yet tactfully debated about, I applaud you for beautifully expressing a truth that is missed by the majority and which unfortunately, causes many to fall into the same behavioral pattern as a mean of survival within the culture. Thank you for making our world a better one with your insights and I look forward to your next post.

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