Sacred Relationships: Beyond Love and Valentine’s Day
Years ago, I taught a class that ended at 9 PM. One night after class, I stopped by a grocery store to buy a couple of items. It was the night before Valentine’s Day and what I saw startled me, but more than that, it made me sad.
Many grocery stores put the greeting card aisle smack dab in the front. Impulse buying is a big part of modern society and very little is as impulsive as buying a greeting card the night before Valentine’s Day. Entering the card aisle isn’t for the meek. An air of tension and fear immediately becomes evident. I always imagine a herd of gazelles, nervously drinking at a waterhole in the middle of lion country. There may not be lions here, but there’s a very real predator, namely, one’s own insecurities regarding love and romance.
Grown men whimper as they desperately search for the perfect card that proves their love, hopefully without offending the recipient. Generations of insidious marketing tactics have convinced most of us that we have neither the time, nor the talent, to express ourselves from our hearts, so we pay someone else to do it for us. On more than one occasion, while standing in front of hundreds of homogenized cards, none of them saying what I actually felt, I swore never to stand there again. I came to loathe Valentine’s Day and everything it stood for. I wasn’t alone.
How did a celebration of romantic love and commitment come to mean despair for so many? Certainly, the greeting card companies have had a lot to do with this phenomenon, but it really isn’t that simple. Perhaps it has more to do with our insistence at quantifying, institutionalizing, and monetizing something as indefinable, ephemeral and sacred as love.
The media bullies us into buying diamonds, flowers, new cars, and boxes of chocolates, or risk being labeled as a bad partner. The irony behind all this is that when love is genuine and certain, no tokens are necessary, because hearts communicate to each other in a language as ancient as humanity itself. This is the basis of a Sacred Relationship. Such connections are pure and without conditions implied.
Our ancestors spoke this language fluently and without hesitation. They found no shame in expressing what was within them. Love wasn’t considered a weakness. Rather, it was looked upon as a blessing, a gift bestowed by the Divine as a sacred duty, rite and gift.
What would the world be without romantic love? It would be inhuman and horribly dull.
Sacred Relationships are the basis of what we think of when true love is expressed. The connection of two souls, united in purpose, is the Alchemical merging of hearts, minds and incarnations. The fiery furnace of passion is the smelter for those who come together to unite as one Sacred Couple, individuals united by the Divine imperative.
Love is a constant, a thread that connects the human experience throughout the ages, like beads of a Mala. It weaves its way through every aspect of our existence, links us to our ancestors and to those who will follow us on this lovely planet.
The Ancient Egyptians wrote romantic poetry that never fails to move me and fill me with wonder at the timeless beauty of the human heart. Their love was precious to them and they weren’t afraid to speak of the elation and pain that true love can bring. Women and men alike shared the secrets of their hearts to those who would listen. In doing so, they gave others a chance to share a common bond of human feelings, a tradition that continues worldwide today through music and other arts. Revealing our passion reflects a heart unafraid of emotions and conscious of the value of life, grasping its beauty every day. Love is not only sacred, it also is magical and to exalt it in words, or song, is to exalt the Divine power of love on Earth.
The Ancient Romans celebrated Sacred Relationships with the Lupercalia, a celebration of monogamy. Wolves mate for life and Roman mythology proclaimed the Romans as decedents of Romulus and Remus, twins who’d been suckled by a she wolf. As such, wolves and their traits were revered. Monogamy and romantic love were not only a moral imperative, but a necessity to be civilized. The Lupercalia was celebrated in the middle of February. The celebration of Juno Februa was also celebrated in the middle of February. This was a time of atonement and renewal. The word Februa implies cleansing and a sacred cleansing, hence the name of the month.
Over time, the church’s need to stifle pagan ways led to the overlaying of Valentine’s Day upon ancient rites that celebrated older and deeper human truths.
Valentine’s Day became wildly popular in The Victorian Age. Perhaps this was due to the romanticizing of Queen Victoria’s undying love for her husband, Prince Albert. The era not only raised romantic love to new status, but began a process that may have led to the beginning of a new concept, romance as a viable motivation for marriage, which became a standard during the Twentieth Century.
Throughout history, love has been objectified, moralized, monetized, confused, weighted with lead ingots of guilt, denied, vilified, sanitized, demonized, and turned into a strategy to sell products. Yet, love itself hasn’t changed. Even in the midst of pure greed and self-serving philosophies, the Sacred Relationship can’t be tarnished.
Ancient lovers experienced the same anguish and elation that we do now, as our descendants will for millennia to come. Their expressions of beauty, strength, devotion and insecurity are no different than our own. A Sacred Relationship doesn’t confuse or depress us. It raises us to new heights and fills our being with joy. Neither distance, race, gender, creed or status can diminish the truth of a Sacred Relationship. It defies all worldly logic, for it is truly a product of our inner beings and our sacred duty to humanity and ourselves.
How do you know if you’re in a Sacred Relationship?
- Love is a constant. You should feel confident in your relationship
- Love is a baseline of the human experience and without it, we lose our humanity and individuality. You should feel more loving to all in a Sacred Relationship
- You’re allowed to be yourself and not expected to become a satellite of your partner
- You’re honored at all times and are able to speak freely and honestly, without fear
- Love is not a weakness; it is strength. Your relationship makes you more able to deal with the world and its challenges
- Love is the ability to share emotional honesty and be confident in the security of spiritual intimacy. You fully relate on a spiritual level, even if you hold different beliefs. It’s the inner spiritual imperative that connects in a Sacred Relationship
- True love does not cause misery in our lives, but brings us joy and fulfills us. Every relationship has its challenges, but can be eventually, harmoniously dealt with
- Love is always a risk, but one worth the leap into an abyss of vulnerability. To fall in love is to be open to potential pain, but what a glorious prize to seek. Sacred Relationships should feel worth taking a chance on
I’m a romantic, but I’m also a realist. Our lifespans are around three times as long as our ancestors and we live in a society where the divorce rate is staggering. It isn’t easy to find and maintain a Sacred Relationship that brings two people together. What are we to do? Love has to be fulfilled and renewed constantly.
We’ve all been disappointed and many of us have been fooled by what we thought was love. Many of us have been betrayed, or have talked ourselves into a relationship that turned out to be more of a nightmare than a dream. There’s no question that love isn’t easy. It isn’t meant to be.
Even though it’s often an arduous task to find true love, every atom in me that believes that the search for it must go on and is more important than almost anything else we do. This doesn’t necessarily mean seeking new partners, or being dissatisfied with what you have, but it does mean developing the happiness that you deserve and finding the love that you are capable of as a sentient, spiritual being. It begins with you.
How can you find a Sacred Relationship?
- Listen to your inner voice. Your heart whispers its hopes for you in daydreams and in your most secret moments
- Never deny the wisdom of your heart, for it holds a truth as powerful as time itself
- Change such events like Valentine’s Day from a dreadful obligation to an expression of joy. Jewelry and showy gifts are fine, but often reflect insincerity and a fear to speak truth from the heart
- Embrace love as a human trait that, in part, defines us as what we are, beings seeking to love and be loved
- Believe! Each one of us has to believe in love in order for it to be in our lives. Often, it sneaks up and pounces onto our path, but If we don’t believe in it, we’ll shove it out of our way and push on
- Most importantly, reject cynicism, for on that barren plain, love can never flower. If we are to recognize love, we have to hold it as an inviolable truth, that it’s real, and that we’re entitled to have it in our lives
- Let us once again embrace the true message of true love, the Sacred Relationship, and not view it as a burden. Love is a kaleidoscope of choices, tears, laughter and, of course, the very thing that makes the world go round
I wish you all, peace and love.
Transformation Through the Alchemy of Love
Things are heating up here on planet Earth, thanks to global warming, our shift into the photon belt of electromagnetic-charged light particles and the rising kundalini of Mother Earth. As a result, many people feel as if they’re cracking like mustard seeds in a pan under the intense pressure of our modern-day lives as we experience the transition phase of what’s been termed, ‘The Great Rebirth’.
How you can make the shift as graceful as possible? Through the power of love.
We are all a part of a significant event in the course of our shared human history. I am referring to the collective shift in consciousness currently taking place on our planet. Some are projecting their fear that the end of the world is nigh; however, I feel the band, REM summed it up beautifully with their song, “It’s the end of the world, as we know it.”
Regardless of our perspective on it, it’s happening. We are collectively facing the crossroads of change. We can respond by denying it, fighting it, or allowing and embracing it; the choice is ours in accordance with the universal law of free will.
Embracing the Inevitable Breakdown to Breakthrough
In the birthing process of a physical child or any creative endeavor, it is inevitable that we must pass through the transition phase. This phase is when we feel like giving up and may even contemplate death as an option in our desperate attempt to stop the intensity of our human suffering. This anxiety signals we are at the crossroads of life and death, which will catalyze a shift in our perspective and awareness. This is when we feel like we’ve reached our lowest point: energetically, emotionally, mentally and physically. It is when we are so worn out from our struggle, that we have no choice but to surrender to the process which marks our egos’ psychological deaths, allowing the new identity and new set of circumstances to emerge.
Egos: ‘The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall’
In mysticism, this process is referred to as “the dark night of the soul”. It may last one night or many months, depending on how big our ego is – that is, our will and our sense of personal identity. For example, we may stubbornly stay the course by imposing our old way of doing things while our reality continues to fall apart. We may even lose everything we hold dear until we wake up to the fact it is we who need to change.
During this global transition phase, many people are experiencing unbearable but avoidable stress as they persist with old-paradigm thinking and modes of operating, contrary to the energy of the new paradigm, which doesn’t support our old way of thinking and being.
Understanding the New Paradigm
For our lives to flow more gracefully we need to understand natural cycles and their effect on us. What people refer to as the ‘old paradigm’ is the Piscean Age, a two-thousand-year period where we explored the themes and lessons of this astrological sign. Symbolized by two fish swimming in opposite directions, we sought to define ourselves by identifying what we were not. This was a time of duality, where we identified our experiences as good or bad, we saw ourselves physically as man or woman, we perceived Spirit and matter as separate and adopted a concept of Heaven and Earth as being distant.
The new paradigm is known as the Age of Aquarius, a two-thousand-year period which began in 2012, but whose influence could be felt from the 1960s when we witnessed global social change calling for equality, innovation and free thinking. Aquarius asks us to celebrate diversity while acknowledging the oneness of humanity and all living beings.
Those who are still operating in the Piscean way of thinking often ridicule those who have made the shift into the ‘new age’. Why? Our ego is governed by our rational mind and our rational mind fears the unknown and anything it can’t control, so it reacts by minimizing the importance of that which it doesn’t understand. One cannot understand the new paradigm if one has not personally undergone an inner shift of consciousness. That shift is the transition from one’s ego being the dominant operating system, to their soul taking that role.
How Do We Ensure Our Soul is in Our Driver’s Seat?
We may have a breakthrough at a workshop or retreat and then return home to our old life and slip back into our old patterns of thought and behavior, where our rational mind is more dominant than the intuition of our soul. We recognize this return to egocentric behavior according to our degree of stress, as escalating stress levels result when we seek to control the inevitable chaos of life.
The only way to ensure we don’t get caught up in such ‘monkey mind’ madness is to regularly anchor our intent of bowing to our inner knowing, through a practice which aligns our mind, body and soul, such as yoga, qigong or tai chi. Such practices form a foundation of self-love by nurturing our needs mentally, emotionally, energetically and physically. By generating self-love on a daily basis, we have the energy to respond with compassion and human kindness to those in our waking world. Whereas when we are running on empty, denying our own needs, we react to others from a place of fear or need.
Global Social Change Through the Alchemy of Love
The word “crisis” means both danger and opportunity, illustrating we each have the power to transform our global crises through the understanding that we are all interconnected fractals of Gaia. So the more we embody love through self-honoring choices, acts of brotherly or sisterly kindness, and devotional service to the greater good, the more powerful the role we each play as vessels to anchor the consciousness of Heaven on Earth. Whereas the more we collectively polarize in fear and separation, the more we contribute to the collective thought-form of suffering. Given our waking world is a reflection of our internal state, we can each consciously choose to support a conscious, ecstatic birth rather than an unconscious, traumatic birth.
The ancients understood their impact on the holographic nature of the universe.
This is why they honored the alchemy contained within their bodies and would gather within sacred geometric structures during astrological vortices on ley line intersections, to consciously align the Earth with the heavens. This is why they erected temples and stone circles on these sites—to generate energy and raise the collective consciousness. It’s why our stellar neighbors have placed crop circle sigals, using the power of sacred symbols to clear blocks in the intertwining global meridians of the sacred feminine and masculine which carry our consciousness around the Earth. This is why many are being called to perform ceremonies to clear blocks and raise power, using the power of love for Gaia and our global family to midwife our global transition in this time of crises.
Ultimately, we all have the opportunity to reduce both our own stress levels and the suffering of others, by harnessing the power of love in our daily lives.
Practical Ways to Navigate the Shift with Loving Grace
- Ensure vigilant self-care by eating nutritious food, as well as getting adequate rest and sleep
- Keep your energy levels high with music which uplifts your feelings and state of mind
- Read books and articles which inspire you with mind-expanding concepts
- Surround yourself with people who honor you with kindness and compassion
- Do anything creative which enthuses you, as this further kindles your inner divine spark
- Devote time to being of service to the greater good, be it within your community or on a global scale
- Do regular practices to align and clear the energy centers of the body, known as chakras so your intuition is crystal clear, enabling you to be a bridge between Heaven and Earth
- Honor both your physical and spiritual needs in equal measure to avoid polarization, which creates tension and conflict internally and externally
- Gather in circles to perform sacred ceremonies and sharing circles to practice being transparent and collectively create positive vortices of transformation (After all, stars form by spiraling together!)
Finally, if you are experiencing adversity and challenge, start by blessing the situation you are dealing with; this will raise your frequency and enable you to intuit the most ingenious solution to your current dilemma. Affirm the benevolent Universe is orchestrating the birth of your greater self through every interaction and ask to be shown the lesson so you can maintain both an open heart and your trust in the unfolding of the divine plan.