Letting Go of Ego


By: Gaia Staff  |  June 24, 2015

Dear Claudia,

I’m having trouble “awakening” to the present moment with my meditation and letting go of ego. I am plagued by anxiety and can’t just let go of it, even though I know that it is useless and unnecessary. Do you know why I can’t let go of this anxiety, or what I can do to be more at peace?

Michaela

Dear Michaela,

Many people forget that Eckhart Tolle awakened to his enlightened state the moment he realized he didn’t want to live. He was about to kill himself when he experienced his awakening, and the rest is history.

What this means is that for him to achieve presence with what he was feeling, he had to know what that was.

Often, there are unspoken feelings, sensations, and dynamics that we have not put our finger on. When you don’t yet know exactly what it is you’re feeling, you can’t always achieve presence with it.

Now, anxiety, psychologically speaking, is what’s known as a “secondary emotion.” That means we feel it in response to other, more primary emotions. Maybe sexual. Maybe aggressive. We don’t always know what that primary emotion is. That’s why we have anxiety.

I can’t tell you how many times I have helped people to discover their primary thoughts and feelings, only to witness their anxiety vanish.

And that’s when you can achieve presence with what you feel: when you know it.

The way to discover the thoughts and emotions that you are not knowing and experiencing in your conscious awareness is to allow your mind to wander, on a yoga mat, therapist’s office, or on a written page. Eventually ‒ and especially if you can be helped to accept your emotions ‒ you will land on thoughts and feelings that will feel like “aha” moments, things you did not realize or that may even feel like complete revelations. And when that happens, you will feel at peace.

You can’t attain sanity by just trying harder, exercising a positive outlook, letting go, forgiving or meditating. What you need for sanity, when reason fails, are emotional experiences. Not ideas. Experiences.

– Claudia Luiz, PsychD in Where’s My Sanity? Stories That Help

We are here to evolve, and enlightenment is not something you can turn on like a switch in your brain. It is something that requires continued meditation, continued deep knowledge of your “pain body” and continued practice in observing the ego. Don’t get discouraged – I admire you greatly for seeking answers to reconciling what is happening within you to what you recognize outside of yourself.


 

Claudia Luiz

Come join Dr. Claudia Luiz at Kripalu for “Finding Comfort in Your Own Skin” in late September! Check below for more information on the event.
She’s being called “a new voice in America for how change really happens” with her book, Where’s My Sanity? Stories that Help which is ranking alongside Man’s Search for Meaning and Love’s Executioner on Amazon. New Books in Psychoanalysis just called the book “a tour-de-force poised to create a seismic shift in human consciousness” and it is being included in the curriculums of psychoanalytic schools across the country, even as people say they “can’t put it down.” A graduate of Harvard University and the Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis, Dr. Luiz is an award-winning author who writes regularly about how to “stop solving and start evolving” at her website, www.wheresmysanity.com. Need a laugh? Visit Claudia’s husband at www.dadflashes.com for some Saturday morning funnies.
Come join Claudia at Kripalu September 27-30, 2015
Being comfortable in your own skin is a metaphor for feeling emotionally balanced and whole. Achieving that balance allows you to enjoy life more, feel more resilient, get more of what you want, and have more energy to help others.
Through lecture, discussion, and guided exercises, you will learn:

Three key emotional experiences that lead to greater comfort in your own skin
Strategies for physical nurturance and self-care
How to deal with emotions that threaten comfort
How to promote greater comfort in others.

Come join Dr. Claudia Luiz at Kripalu for “Finding Comfort in Your Own Skin” in late September!


 

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