In this world, it can be hard to feel desirable, especially with all the false messages we receive about desirability. Of course, most glossy magazines and adverts haven’t got it right. After all, desire has nothing to do with your waist size, complexion, hair color or age. In fact, given the law of attraction, being desirable has more to do with feeling desirable.

Take a look at the following tips. I hope that they bring you joy.

1. Move Desirably. The messages we give off from the way we move are powerful, but you don’t have to move like Jessica Rabbit to communicate your desirability. Dance can be a wonderful way of expressing our inner spirit, and this spirit, in my mind, is what truly makes us desirable. You can practice letting go by having fun with yoga dance (I recommend Hemalayaa’s Dance it Out, Shake it Off) or, given that water can be such a freeing element, by showering to your favorite music and moving your body to the rhythms.

2. Use Rose Quartz. Rose quartz is a wonderful stone for romance and self-love, and it can be used to help you truly feel your spiritual worth. Find yourself a rose quartz bracelet, sculpted heart or pendant, and wear or hold it when you want to feel your desirability. Adding in affirmations such as “I am deeply desirable” or “I am beautiful inside and out” can help to strengthen your sense of inner worth.

3. Get into Texture. Often, we are taught to buy clothes because of how they make us look, but if we gave more attention to texture, I believe we’d feel more beautiful—and that is the element that truly makes us shine. When you are next able to buy clothes, consider their textures first. How do they cling to you? How do they feel when you move in them? What fabrics do you enjoy next to your skin? Going on a “feel good” shopping spree, either alone or with a trusted friend, can be a great way to change your focus from “Do I look good?” to “Do I feel good?”

4. Collage! What aspects of your inner self make you feel desirable? Start making a list of these. Examples might include your generosity, wisdom, sense of humor, emotional intelligence and imagination. As you develop your list, you might create a collage, cutting out magazine images that express your desirable traits. You can display this collage by your bed and add to it whenever you wish. Look at it each morning and use your affirmations to really connect with the truly desirable you.

5. Do What the Desirable Do. If you felt truly desirable, how would you spend your free time? Would you go out to fancy restaurants? Would you go dancing or have your hair done differently? Would you spend lazy days in your bikini by the pool? Would you buy yourself flowers? To feel desirable, it can be helpful to act desirably—however we might interpret that. Try pampering yourself and acting like you’re gorgeous. After all, you absolutely are.


Lana Fox

Lana Fox’s articles and posts about spirituality, sexuality and self-love have appeared in Spirituality & Health, Boston Magazine, Glo Magazine, and elsewhere. A reiki master, certified Angel Messenger, and Realm Reader (who trained with Doreen Virtue), she is co-author of the spiritual-erotic audio course The Mermaid Voyage: A Spiritual Journey of Erotic Self-Discovery. Lana’s books include Cream: An Erotic Romance (published February 2015 by Go Deeper Press), Paws Off My Bone: An Assertiveness Guide for Dogs and Their Owners (Go Deeper Healing), Confessions of a Kinky Divorcee (Harper Collins), and Shameless Behavior: Brazen Stories of Overcoming Shame (Go Deeper Press), among others. She is a co-founder of the erotic press Go Deeper, and her self-help book on solo sexuality, The Pearl Diver’s Guide, is represented by the Sarah Jane Freymann Literary Agency. Find out more at Follow the Signs Like Alice and, or follow her on Twitter or Facebook.


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