How Do We Reconnect When Lonely?
Is Facebook making us lonely? In yogic terms one of the root causes of suffering is the perception of being alone. We think no one else feels what we feel, therefore no one else understands what we’re experiencing.
When our seventh chakra, the crown chakra, is blocked we feel lonely and disconnected. The work of this chakra is then to bring healing to the ailment of loneliness. For some, loneliness might have the literal meaning of being physically removed from other people. This seems to be a recent trend with the new obsessive emersion in social media. But feeling disconnected can have a deeper meaning and impact on your life, especially if it feels like you are living one never-ending groundhog’s day. Does your life have a feeling of futility?
What’s interesting is that in 1950, less than ten percent of American’s lived alone, but by 2010 nearly twenty-seven percent of households were occupied by only one person. There is a growing epidemic of loneliness. “We found that loneliness somehow penetrated the deepest recesses of the cell to alter the way genes were being expressed.” Loneliness affects not only the brain but also the basic process of DNA transcription. When your mind is lonely, your whole body is lonely. “Internet communication allows only ersatz intimacy. Forming connections with pets or online friends is a noble attempt to satisfy a compelling need, but surrogates can never make up completely for the absence of the real thing.” The real thing being actual people, in the flesh, as Stephen Marche explains.
Yoga and Community
Personally my favorite part of yoga has nothing to do with poses or breathing, but with community. It’s about the coming together of humans in all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, ages and interests, in the sharing of an experience. That’s why I go back every day, both as a student and a teacher. What’s more, it has been scientifically proven that being in a healthy community is good for us. The vibration of positively minded people raises our vibrational frequency.
This shared joy elevates our spirits and is even talked about in Yoga Sutra Chapter 2.33 Pratipaksha Bhavana. Essentially the sutras dictate that when we are imbalanced mentally, physically or emotionally, we are not living our true nature: Joy. Therefore, engaging with others and thinking happy thoughts helps us to create happiness both internally and externally. Positive energy creates and attracts more positive energy.
“Love creates a communion with life. Love expands us, connects us, sweetens us, and ennobles us. Love springs up in tender concern, it blossoms into caring action. It makes beauty out of all we touch. In any moment we can step beyond our small self and embrace each other as beloved parts of the whole.” – Jack Kornfield.
How Do We Reconnect?
First, you have to accept that we are all already continuously connected. All you have to do is open back up to our collective energy. This is referred to by scientists as the Zero Point Field, meaning that all matter is interconnected by one energy web. The easiest way to quiet the static that prevents us from feeling this, is meditation. Meditation creates a non-dualistic understanding of the world. It promotes the science of universal harmony. Meditation is a philosophy of supporting, rather than competing against, one another. It helps take away the feeling of threat and disconnection from the world. It promotes love as the eternal connector.
Dr. Dean Schrock describes meditation and explains why it works: *”Meditation allows you to access the quantum field of energy which is essentially a field of love. And meditation heals by leading you to love.” *
The true meaning of Namaste is: When I am in a place of love and you are in a place of love, we are one love.
Wishing you all the courage to open your hearts to greater community and collaboration. Love yourself, love your day, love your life.
About the Author
7 Ways to Protect Yourself from Negativity
At some point in your life, you’ve encountered a negative person. It may be that you have a negative person in your life at this very moment, whether it be a spouse, family member, co-worker, friend or even a stranger. An encounter with a negative person can be emotionally taxing. These people can imprint their negativity onto you in such a way that may leave you feeling sad, angry, afraid, or completely drained of energy. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
As there are many reasons behind a person’s negativity, there are also many ways to protect yourself from that negativity.
There is a well-known idea that our thoughts are responsible for creating our reality. The more I thought about this, the more I saw the actions of negative people in a much different light. I started to think that it isn’t the negativity of the people that are bringing me down and draining my energy, but rather how I allow their negativity to affect my life. What I found is, by not allowing the negativity of others to impact me, the less I experienced, because I no longer attracted it.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions. It’s the negative person’s choice to be negative, just as it’s your choice of how you respond to the negative person. If someone says something negative to you, whether it be discouraging you on your goals and dreams, saying something disrespectful, or even making you feel less than what you really are, your first impulse may be to feel hurt, angry, or perhaps a sudden hatred toward that person. All of those are negative reactions, which subliminally enhances the negative person even more. Our bodies are reactors that radiate and transfer energy onto others. Even if we don’t verbally respond to the negative person, we still absorb their negativity into our psyche. Here are seven ways we can deflect the negativity and protect our own emotional well-being:
Use the Power of Affirmations
During a negative encounter, say to yourself, “I choose not to allow this person to impact me in a negative way.” Imagine a beautiful white light surrounding you as it creates a barrier to prevent the negativity from seeping through.
Know That You Are Not At Fault
If the negative person is making you feel discouraged or not worthy, know it’s no fault of your own. Usually, when one attacks our dreams, desires, goals, and ambitions, it’s a sign that they’re not where they want to be in their own lives. Instead of allowing them to transfer negativity onto you, try talking to them about why you want to pursue what you’re doing and even encourage them to reach for the stars, too.
Send a Loving Thought
We may have a random encounter with a stranger who has an unpleasant attitude or could’ve had a bad day and is taking it out on anyone they can. (Unfortunately, that person happens to be you.) Before engaging the person, imagine the beautiful white light barrier and silently use the affirmation, “I choose not to allow this person to impact me in a negative way.” This prevents absorbing the negativity the person is emitting.
Smile, be friendly, and stay calm. Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed to stabilize their mood. When the person is no longer in contact with you, silently send a loving thought to them hoping that their day will become better.
Think Something Positive
Often, an encounter with a negative person will leave lasting effects long after the initial encounter. Perhaps something happened with a person at the start of the day that really made you angry. As your day goes on, you keep thinking about it over and over again. You’re upset, and you can’t shake it from your mind. It’s these particular types of encounters that leave one feeling the most depleted of energy because the situation is on instant replay.
I’ve found the best solution is to shift the mind. If you keep dwelling on that negative moment, immediately think of something positive: something or someone that brings you joy, like a loved one, a pet, nature, a favorite movie or a hobby.
Trigger the Brain
Shift your train of thought by thinking about what happened in the last chapter of a book that you’re currently reading, or by mentally reciting the lines to a favorite song. This causes the brain to divert its attention and keeps the negative thoughts at bay.
Silence the Ego
You may feel the urge to fight or argue with the negative person. Perhaps you think that you’re right and they’re wrong, or you’ll feel better by standing your ground. It’s actually combat of the ego-mind: in most circumstances it only makes you feel worse, as all it does is fuels the fire for the other person. When they sense your anger, they feed off it by taking your energy. This gives them more power and leaves you feeling drained.
Withdrawing from an argument doesn’t make you weak, and you don’t need to prove you’re right. Ask yourself, “Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?”
Remove Yourself
Simply say “I’m sorry you feel this way.” If possible, either walk away or leave the room. Once out of sight, silently send loving thoughts to the person. You don’t have to absorb their anger. Dismiss it and let it go. Usually, the argument will naturally dissipate.
If these practices sound too easy, it’s because they are! The human mind thinks that every solution needs to be complex in order for it to work. Far too much time is spent thinking and searching for the correct way to solve negativity (or anything in the world, for that matter), when in fact each of us is made up of the very ingredients of a solution.
That solution is love. Radiate love. Be love. Love is what ultimately heals us all.
There will always be negativity in the world. It’s the Yin and Yang of life. If someone doesn’t like or agree with something that you did or would like to do, then that’s their conflict, not yours. What they think is right may not be right for you, and everyone’s entitled to their own choice. No matter how negative the opinions of others are or how you may be perceived by them, know this: you’re a beautiful, magnificent being and you’re so loved – and that’s the absolute truth.
